Crosswords2 mins ago
I Love
I love putting hyenas in old beer kegs.
It's a barrel of laughs.
My partner caught me on the sofa wearing nothing but my birthday suit.
He was furious, we never normally open presents the night before.
Yesterday I was drawing round criminals to make cardboard cutouts for my ad campaign, when I stood up to think for a second. I was interrupted by someone shouting: "Oi! What are you doing?"
"Contemplating." I replied.
I suppose when you've seen one lion catch an antelope, you've seen a maul.
I was at a pub where a man was telling really bad limericks, so some guy got up and smacked him. It was poetic justice.
I like to keep a collection of wardrobes in my house, but I don't tell anyone about it.
I'm a closet fan.
I've been trying to trace my friend’s new dress that I ordered online for her last week.
I've already used seven pencils and that's just only a half of it done.
I asked my doctor if he thinks I'm over my obsession with Tipperary.
He said "there's still a long way to go"
I just signed in to this cool new website that I've found. It’s called 'LumberJack.com'
But I soon got bored and logged out.
I can't stop thinking about prisons.
My mind works in Strangeways.
It's a barrel of laughs.
My partner caught me on the sofa wearing nothing but my birthday suit.
He was furious, we never normally open presents the night before.
Yesterday I was drawing round criminals to make cardboard cutouts for my ad campaign, when I stood up to think for a second. I was interrupted by someone shouting: "Oi! What are you doing?"
"Contemplating." I replied.
I suppose when you've seen one lion catch an antelope, you've seen a maul.
I was at a pub where a man was telling really bad limericks, so some guy got up and smacked him. It was poetic justice.
I like to keep a collection of wardrobes in my house, but I don't tell anyone about it.
I'm a closet fan.
I've been trying to trace my friend’s new dress that I ordered online for her last week.
I've already used seven pencils and that's just only a half of it done.
I asked my doctor if he thinks I'm over my obsession with Tipperary.
He said "there's still a long way to go"
I just signed in to this cool new website that I've found. It’s called 'LumberJack.com'
But I soon got bored and logged out.
I can't stop thinking about prisons.
My mind works in Strangeways.
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