The Joys Of An Ex...

[Rhirhi23]

Hi guys. I have never posted on an online forum before, I often read them but I feel I need specific advice for my situation because I feel I've exhausted everyone around me by talking about it. I was in a 2 and a half year relationship - he's a cancer I'm a Capricorn and if you know anything about zodiacs, we're basically opposites but we compliment each other well, best friends as well as lovers. We split up in the week of Christmas, I'd been deeply unhappy within myself for a while & didn't really communicate it properly & I think he saw it as me stopping caring and making effort & I probably sub conciously did, so he ended it. I've never asked to get back with him, because im not 100% where I want to be so I agreed it was best we were apart so I have time to concentrate on myself. He's gone from strength to strength - so have I. The only issue, is that every single week since we've split, I've contacted him. A few times its ended in us meeting up as he states 'he can't say no' to me & I think I took advantage of that? It was often if we had an argument on the phone or something I'd suggest talking in person then we'd end up having a really nice time. But he hates the fact I contact him. Sees it as me having no respect & being selfish which I agree with. I would promise not to do it then end up doing it again. He said it was really driving him to lose feelings for me, yet I still couldn't stop. Which is very frustrating because I don't want him to feel that way yet here I am, bunny boiler of the year still bugging him. He called me last week, said he'd meet me tomorrow to chat in person (I didn't suggest this, he thinks it's what I'd want cause I've previously asked) if I didn't get in touch all week. I work down the road from where he lives, I ended up driving past him two days in a row & each time he contacted me. He wanted me to find an alternate route he was so mad, as if I'd planned it, which I kinda don't blame him for thinking but I can't time driving past someone in 5pm traffic! So the last convo we had was Thursday after he saw me & as I say he was really mad but he said he would still meet tomorrow. I feel very torn. The part of me that still has (a little) pride, thinks: don't do it on his terms, he's been speaking to you like poo bla bla. The other side of me thinks - you've caused all of this so he has a right to be feeling the way he does. As far as I'm aware he doesn't have anybody else, he gets mad if I ask that. Says he still loves me. That he'd make effort if I just gave it space. So I'm just really questioning if it's right to go & meet him tomorrow?! I don't want him to feel I'm throwing it in his face but at the same time I don't want to have no respect for myself now that I'm trying to turn a corner in not contacting etc?! This post will be huge, there's so much more to this but that is a summary. In sure I've probably contradicted myself lots haha just looking for a second opinion

[Prudie]

Having been in a similar situation myself I'd say he's either letting you down gently or worried you might do something daft if he makes a clean break so throws you crumbs but you're coming across as needy and that's a turn-off to men. If you're strong enough them no I wouldn't meet nor keep getting in touch. If he really wanted to get back together he'll make the move.

[Rhirhi23]

I totally agree, I keep trying to tell myself he's letting me down gently but then again he has initiated contact with me aswell, mostly me obviously but this past week he has. I dont know what I'd really get out of meeting him tomorrow tbh

[Prudie]

I don't know, see what others say. I'm just mapping this to my own experience - my ex continued to contact me for at least a year but never wanted to get back together, I became his 'beck and call' girl. I put it down to his guilt but it left me emotionally hanging onto nothing for a long time.

[Rhirhi23]

Prudie, despite me always contacting he never blocked my number. Last week I had a go at him (his sister sent me a suspicious snapchat photo - she knows what I'm like so don't know why she'd try and provoke me) and that was the final straw he blocked my number. As I say he's rang me, text me this week, because he can - because he knows he isn't blocked. Do you think it will send a strong message if I block his number so he can't ring me tomorrow? Part of me feels bad but I feel I need to put myself in a better position rather tha. Looking needy

[scorpiojo]

If he hates the fact you contact him, and he's now blocked your number, let it go.

[cupotee2]

If he had blocked you then you should do the same to him

Block HIS number. Less frustration all round!

[mightymouse]

Ran out of popcorn and looking for paragraphs....