Dog Trainers

[marval]

I have just seen an advert for ‘Dog trainers’ in the paper. I can’t get mine to wear a collar, let alone sportswear.

The girls in my local strip club are so good with computers they do lap top dancing.

The cook at my local Chinese is a pervert. Peking Chef.

Italian scientists are becoming increasingly worried about people’s pasta consumption. Statistics have been released for a safe Carbonara Footprint.

My partner and I met whilst working at a plastic-wrap factory. I had to end it though, he was far too clingy.

I have just taken the dog out to do his business. He is a Corgi gas fitter.

I got in a fight with a load of kids earlier. I never knew goats could be so vicious.

I apologise, my posts about planking may have caused a fence.

I was chatting to my friend when this Asian guy comes up and says: “Satsuma, clementine, orange, satsuma, satsuma, orange…” I said to my friend “I haven’t got a clue what he’s saying.” He said, “That is because he is talking in Mandarin.”

I was walking to work the other day when some big bird came running over to me asking for directions. I wasn’t much help though, I had never heard of Sesame street.

[Patsy33]

Lol!