the careful monkey

[coinman]

A man walks into a pub with his pet monkey on his shoulder and asks for a pint. While he's drinking, the monkey jumps on the bar and starts to eat the peanuts, then eats the crisps, then eats the sliced limes, finally he jumps onto the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his gob and swallows it whole.
Enraged the barman screams at the man, "did you see what your monkey just did? He ate my cue ball!"
"doesn't surprise me" says the man, "the little bu88er eats everything in sight. I'll pay for everything" he settles the bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he's back, once more with the monkey. He orders a drink and within minutes the monkeys is running amok until it finds a stray maraschino cherry on the bar. The monkey grabs the cherry, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "did you see what your monkey did now" he shouts. He stuck a cherry up his brown eye, then pulled it out and ate it!"
"doesn't surprise me," replies the man. He still eats everything in sight, but ever since that damn cue ball he measures it first."