How to get rid of sales people on the phone!

[what..the?]

How do you do it?

There are various ways.... if we all converse on the subject we could all learn ways to deal with every situation we could ever be put in!

The Water Cooler sales person:

- I say sorry I have been alergic to water since birth.
- I say can I interest YOU in a water warmer on a dial basis of course, no quibble 30 day money back
- sorry I have a phobia of bubbles
- sorry we already have a water cooler it's called the cold water tap
- hello.....hello.....hello.....hello (sigh) bob that crank callers on the line again!
- Hello yes can you help me I'm lost and I dont know where I am!
- Hello yes can I order 2 chicken tikka masla's with rice popadoms and some mango chutney to (give false address) and then hang up.
- well it's kind of brown and spotty and it smells terrible...then hang up.

Please add yours

[vehelpfulguy]

I never buy anything over the phone.

As soon as I realise they are trying to sell me something I just shout PHUQ OFF and slam the phone down.

[Toureman]

Use this............

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

[mibn2cweus]

"I'm shaving my _____ here . . . ouch! . . . dammit!" . . . click!
fill in the blank

[tony1941]

Or just put the phone down quietly on the table, walk away and carry on with your life.

Sometimes it takes quite a while for them to realise they are talking to themselves- and paying for the privilege.

[Mattk]

the sales patter is deliberately designed to have no breaks in it to allow you to tell them to ****** off.
just cut-in and hang-up !
i registered with tps so every time they ring i simply cut in and say...'never mind that,how did you get this number ? it is not legal to ring me.' its amazing how quick they say good bye after that.

[efc]

I once received a telephone call from someone offering me a loft conversion.
He must of thought it was his birthday as I pretended to be very keen. The conversation went on for quite a while and I even agreed to them coming round and giving me a quote.
When he asked for my address I gave it to him and told him it was a first floor flat.
He was the one that put the phone down on me lol.

[knobbynonuts]

I just normally answer each of the quiestions saying

yez me lobve you slong time.
me lube you long time
me lube you long time
Me lube you long time ar shole
do you want to buy a tube of ky jelly

[B00]

I simply pass the phone to my 2 year old- she jabbers away to them for ages leaving me to do whatever it was I was previously doing.

[Panic Button]

I jut politely say "I'm not interested thank you (click)"

The click is me pressing the cradle to disconnect.

You just cannot have a conversation with them as they are trained not to let you end the call

[dzug]

If I'm in a hurry I hang up.

If not I ask for details - caller's name, company name, company address, company phone number and report them to TPS. Only failed once when having denied all knowledge of TPS the guy gave me the TPS phone number as his company's....

I've never had the nerve to try it but I understand that for a male asking suggestive questions of a female caller can very soon get them to hang up.

[joko]

i have never understood why this issue seems to get some people so upset and agitated.
it really is very simple to just say 'i am not interested, goodbye' and put the phone down.
don't wait for a gap, don't try to explain or let them try to keep you on, just say it and get on with your day.

these people are only doing their jobs, and i dont understand why so many people are downright rude to them.

if they keep calling back and won't leave you alone then fine get tough, but on the first call there is really no need to be nasty.

[tomtom123]

I can't think of a meaner option. I act keen, but ask very nicely if they would hold while I turn something off. I put the phone under a cushion and get on with my day. Glee!

[emptyhead]

This one is excellent and he does it very well. The sales rep is not a happy bunny

http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c 225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

[manxbiker]

it is easy i just say no thanks and hang up

[WendyS]

Try this one. It really bought tears of laughter to my eyes.

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

[alijangra]

I just keep answering 'no'

-Hello is that Mrs......?

-No

-Are you the current homeowner then?

-No

They soon get pretty ****** off with that.

[knobbynonuts]

Superb link emptyhead and wendy cant wait to try that one so if there are any tele sales people reading this please phone me

[anotheoldgit]

Entirely agree with joko, why are people so rude? They are at least working and paying their taxes, not slobbing around all day, living off the state.

[saxy_jag]

My friend (who is Welsh) plays what he calls the dumb Welshman card. The conversation basically goes (from his side, in a thick Welsh accent ) something like this:

Hello ... oh I see ... double glazing eh? ... Wassat then? Oh ... I see ... insulation eh? ... Wassat then? Oh ... I see ... save money eh? ... Wassat then?...

And so it goes until the caller hangs up in frustration.

I suppose you could use any accent you like.

[broadgate]

i worked in 2 call centres when i was 16. dont worry, iv come to my senses now and hav a proper job. anyways, it realy isnt the fault of the caller, u shouldnt go crazy at the person on the other end of the phone - they dont call you, it is an automatic calling system that goes through a PC using software called Amcat or Touchstar.
it really is a rubbish job to hav because you only get to work if theres a place for you at the start of every shift, and this is the same for most call centres across britain. the reason so many youngsters work there is because they pay stupid amounts of money for such a small amount of work... i was earning �18 for every 3 hour shift i worked and a fiver for bonuses on top of that.
for college kids that realy is a gud income because they arnt paying bills yet, and they are getting upward of �120 per week.

in answer to the original question - ring the telephone preference service (TPS) and register. if you still get calls then jus say 'im on the TPS' and they will b sure to leave you alone because thay can get sacked or fined if you complain...