I am so sorry, there is no feeling like losing a much loved pet. I did the same thing as you some years ago when I lost my old girl, as it was a bit unexpected, and when the vet came to the house to put her to sleep, I too was in a state and said I didnt want her ashes. As Winny says, they are all treated with dignity. I had the ashes back of my old boy I lost last year, but at the end of the day, how do I know they are his. Remember the good times, and when you feel like it, look back at some old photos, you will shed many a tear, but like us they cant live forever, and we have to be happy that they shared our life, and gave us so much unconditional love. take care x