I was again alarmed by local fishermen in the area of Loch Ness, who claim that the Loch Ness Monster is a German U-Boat, which became trapped in the loch during the second world war, and are unaware that the war is over. I must admit there is some credibility to this as recent sightings have resembled a slightly bent submarine periscope. Obviously the U-Boat would surface occasionally, to search for enemy shipping. Can anyone expand on this?
It's safe enough on Loch Ness. The U-boat had run out of ammunition, and sought a hiding place rather than surrender. The crew survive by stealing clothes from washing lines, and, dressed as civilians, go un-noticed when they gatecrash local wedding receptions, where they fill their pockets with sausage rolls.
regarding the ammunition problem, I believe that they have discovered that an oversized haggis stuffed into the torpedo tube makes an excellent substitute for a torpedo.