need advice!

[loza]

I have tried everything with my 10 month old staffy x he needs alot of attention and really can never be left alone its hard as me and my partner both work full time and have recently got my partners mum to watch over him during the day otherwise he whines all day and destroys our house. My partner has just phoned and said there is a guy that is really interested in having him, works self employed as a driver and will take him with him durin the day. He wants him tonight and has told us we can see him anytime we want. I feel id be doing my pup a favour by giving him the home he deserves but might be being selfish as i know i am going to love and miss him. the guy wants him tonight!

[Englishbird]

I don't want to sound too harsh, as you obviously love this dog, but I have to question why you got a dog when you both work full time. A young staffy may be worse, but any dog would suffer being left for that amount of time every day.

I don't understand why this guy has to have him tonight, why not wait till the weekend, so you can make the transition as calmly as possible, and this guy has some time at home to settle the dog in. But yes, in short I don't think you can look after him properly. And I think you already know that.

I wouldn't advise getting another dog whilst your situation is still the same. Good luck, I hope it all works out well for everyone x x

[leelapops]

Hey loza, poor you-what a decision to have to face!

Who is this guy who is "interested" in your pup? It sounds a bit urgent, and it seems to be putting a lot of pressure on you to make a rushed decision. Your pup is a big responsibility, and you obviously care about him, but if he's demanding to take him tonight, I would be a bit unsure. It just adds to the guilt and so on that you're probably feeling anyway.
You are brave (and honest) to admit that your living situation probably isn't ideal for your pup-it's really hard thing to admit that. And maybe a new owner could give him more time as I am told that staffies are very demanding! I am certainly not suggesting you don't love him, or that someone else could love him more, but it might just suit him (more time and commitment) and you and your partner (less stress/guilt) better.

I am wary of the guy who wants to take him tonight though-I would ask for more time, and a more detailed background-who is he? How does your partner know him? Has he had dogs before, and/or has he done his research? Will your pup be happy to travel 4 or 5 days a week? I know some dogs that love sitting in vans with their owner, and some dogs that just hate it! It might be no more settled than his current home environment.

Also I don't know how you or your pup would feel about still seeing each other regularly-maybe a bit confusing? I am by no means an expert, maybe other more experienced ABers can comment on that.

Good luck in making your decision, take your time and don't let anyone pressurise you.

Lisa.

[leelapops]

Also, loza, I would agree with Englishbird-dogs are time-consuming and a HUGE commitment. Being left all day isn't suitable. And unless your partner's mum is willing to do this every day you may have problems later.

I am really lucky that I can have my dog-my partner works nights, and I am at Uni so I am not out all day every day. Either way, Jack is rarely left. I know this situation isn't afforded everyone, and some dogs adapt well to being left alone frequently. In the main though, it's not an ideal situation.

It's sad that not everyone can experience the joys (and many other emotions!) of dog ownership.

Lisa x

[annavc]

I would just echo what the others have said - unfortunately leaving any dog alone for long periods is far from ideal and its clear that you love the pup very much and will therefore know that is not a good situation for him. With that in mind he probably would be better off going to a new home, however hard that is for you.

However, regarding this guy who wants him tonight - that immediately set alarm bells off in my head. If he really wants him, and is going to be a kind loving owner then he can wait a few days - what's best for the dog should also be his primary concern. If he insists on getting the dog tonight then I would say No. There are many other ways of finding a new and very good home for your pup, one which you will be happy to see him go to. Don't rush into anything. I'm not accusing this man of anything but you need to be aware that not everyone who wants a dog wants them for a pet and staffys are particularly sought after for illegal dog fighting rings. You just need to be aware of this and make absolutely sure that the person you're giving him to is legitimate. I would advise contacting the breed rescue and taking advice from them. They will be able to tell you how to go about it and may even be able to find a good home for him.

Good luck whatever you do. It's incredibly hard coming to his decision but what's best for the dog is the important thing.

[kita1]

If I were you I would seriously consider letting him have the dog. Why not meet him tonight and see what you think? If you can see the dog 'anytime' at least you will know he is OK, unlike if you put him in a rescue home. If things don't work out you could always step in and take the dog back.

Going off your previous posts I know you have another older staffie and I would bear in mind that having this pup around destroying the house etc. is probably causing her distress and making her unhappy.

Working full time is not a good way to have a young dog, you cannot house train them properly (because you are not there for 8 hours), I do not agree with leaving them in a cage for 8 hours (in summer it must be hell for a dog in a cage) and you cannot muzzle a dog and leave it, so unless you are prepared to put them in one room and accept the total destruction of that room and furniture and your neighbours being upset by the constant barking and howling then you really should consider this man's proposal.

From what you say things are not going to get better, even with the advice from a dog trainer/behaviourist, if you are not around to 'train' the dog it will never learn. Things could get alot worse, you could fall out with neighbours and if the dog gets hold of something in the house that can harm him (nails holding the carpet down, electric wires, switching the gas cooker on etc) he could end up being seriously hurt.

On the face of it, it sounds like a perfect life for a dog like a staffie, he will have constant company and most of them love travelling in a car/van.

It is hard letting them go, but like I say at least if you can see him and know he is fine and happy that is better than never seeing him again.

[redhead23]

staffys are georgeous , but a lot of people have bad intentions towards them , do u know if this man has a garden is he living in a flat and will the dog actually be allowed to go to work ??

you must check this out the dog is your responsibility and i think mabye you are giving up on him , dogs do cry when left alone could a neighbour or a neice or something look after it for you ??

[lankeela]

I would say definitely let him go, if not to this man, then to a rescue society who will assess him and find him the right sort of home. You would only be being selfish if you kept him when you are unable to give him the attention he needs and deserves.

[redhead23]

well loza ..................what did u do ?

[loza]

Thank you all soooo much for your advice. I met the guy last night and he wanted to take him, however think i got alittle over protective and maybe sounded alittle rude to the guy but told him i wanted to ask him a few questions first. The guy is a close friend to my partners dad which makes it all the better for getting a good/bad report of him. Everything was good the guy owns his own business and will take Bailey with him every day in his work van, Bailey loves to travel! He sat with Bailey last night for a couple of hours in that time he played with Bailey and taught him to lie down and even roll over!!! This guy lives alone with no other children he's in his late forties. After 'assessing' him I thought this would be the perfect guy. But that was it then... i got so upset and cried all last night and still upset this mornin x i still find that i can picture him at the end of my bed and even slept with hot water bottle last night so it felt like he was there still al warm and cuddly. i'll miss him so much but to be honest i'l always have his best interests at heart and want him to be a happy chappy! He was like my baby and If anything was to ever go wrong and he needed someone I'd be first there always! x thanks again for all your advice x

[kita1]

You have done the best thing for Bailey. Sounds like he will have a great time, riding around in a van all day with everything going on, far better than being left alone in a room bored out of his brain.

I know it is difficult for you, but I also know how difficult it can be to leave them when you are going to work every day. Think of the times you would have had to leave him, when it was roasting hot in summer, the times that maybe he was ill and you had to go to work. Now when you are at work you can think of him enjoying himself, rather than wondering what he is destroying at home!

At least you can probably still see him, you could probably even 'borrow' him to take for a walk sometimes, and like I said before, if things do happen to go wrong at least you are around to step in and have him back (as a last resort).

I am sure he will have a great life! You are probably missing him more than he is missing you!

You have done the right thing for him.

Take care.

[loza]

Thank you kita1 your totally right he probably isnt missin me i just hope the next time i see him il get my kisses i usually get x thanks again x

[pelican8000]

When I was working full time, I decided to get a couple of greyhounds. They suited my lifestyle perfectly. I got a brother and sister from greyhound rescue organisation. They are large dogs, but extremely laid back. I was able to leave them for some hours during the day, I had a neighbour come in at about lunch time to let them out into the garden for a wee.

They have been lovely dogs, although my two are not very good with cats.

I recently started shift work, and bought a staffy. He is extremnely active compared to the greyhounds, and it took me a few weeks to get used to him. We are all settled now.

[redhead23]

you have done the right thing for the dog !! a very self LESS act so well done and im pleased u checked him out b4 hand xxx