Wanted: A nice female hamster for my pet, dopey

[feist]

Must be clean (no fleas/nits), potty trained (so can train dopey), patient and understanding (as dopey's a bit slow), and friendly (as dopey is), as well as small, healthy and have fun hobbies like: juggling, watching telly (soaps esp), eating(nuts, cornflakes, maltesers... anything crunchy really) and listening to the opera (makes dopey tearful). If your female pet hamster meets the above criteria, please give me a call and you will be invited to the next hamster get together, where the lucky pair can meet :)
thx!