elephant jokes

[col craddock]

how can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge............footprints in the butter
how can you tell if an elephant is in your fridge...........you cant shut the door
how does an elephant hide in a cherry tree............................he paints his toenails red
how does an elephant get down from a tree..........................sits on a leaf and waits for autum
and finally! this is my favorite.
how do you know if an elephant is in bed with you................he has a big E embroided on his pyjamas
I cant remember any more, probably just as well maybe you can

[JonnyBoy12]

Thought the answer to the last one was because you have just had a shag with the biggest **** you have ever seen in your life!

[bensmum]

I love elephant jokes!

How is an elephant like a grape?
They're both purple - except for the elephant

[col craddock]

thanks bensmum I like that one by the way did you know its only the hairs on a gooseberry that stops it from being a grape

[col craddock]

never mind JonnyBoy12 its a pity you cant appreciate a simple joke without bringing in sexual inuendo

[Myriad2112]

Q. what's grey and comes in pints?
A. elephants

[webbo3]

Q How do you get down from a elephant?

A You dont, you get down from a duck

[col craddock]

For everyone "of a certain age"
what do you do if you are faced with a herd of charging elephants....................dial trunks and reverse the charge

[Myriad2112]

Q: What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

[hau kola]

How do you fit 4 elephants in a Mini-
2 in the front and 2 in the back.

[nix-j-c]

this aint realy a joke but it quite funny nd it about elephants.
if u mime saying elephant, colours and i love you they all look the same. you probably knew that but i thort i'd tell you.

[Myriad2112]

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.

Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW bug parked outside it.

Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge. A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!

Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two VW's out, put tarzan in, close door.

Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
A: you can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO

Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't not large enough to hold them all.

Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
A: Depends on the number of elephants.

[taichiperson]

How do you get two hippos in a VW -
You can't, its full of elephants
or
Take the elephants out first.

[dundurn]

How do elephants, which are 9 feet tall find each other in elephant grass, which is 11 feet tall...........................Satisfactory!

How do you know if elephants have been makig love in your garden.........................................you have big dents all over your lawn and all your bin liners are missing

[dundurn]

How do you get 2 whales in a mini?.......................straight down the M4

[bimbim]

Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

[JonnyBoy12]

Well, I could have said that they were all kids jokes, and that they should all be carbon dated. That is what I felt like saying because if you have only just heard all these, then you are either very young, or have led a very sheltered life, or both.

[4GS]

Q)Why do snakes leave the jungle at 5PM?


A) Thats the time the Elephants jump out of the trees to get their dinners

[carrust]

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mouse?

Massive holes in your skirting board.