the snip

[foreverpools]

i'm due to become a dad for the 3rd time and now my wife wants me to get the snip but i've always said i will not do this,is there any other i can get done or take so the wfe does'nt fall preganant again. she does not want to have vasectomy either.

[redcrx]

condoms? but they are only 98% reliable or something.

Failing that abstain from sex.

[ethanryan]

isnt there a male injection. may be wrong but think there is

[redcrx]

i thought that was still in trial stage?

[Psychick]

The only form of contraception that is 100% reliable is no sex! Unless one of you have surgery, like red has said, condoms are the next best thing.

What are the reasons for you not wanting a vasectomy and your wife not wanting to be steralised? If you both really do not want any more children and want to make certain it wont happen, one of you will probably have to have something done.

[foreverpools]

we are both stubborn,i always said i would not get the snip after our 2nd daughter.
so the wife agreed she would get steralised but 5 and a half year later she is due to give birth even affter being on the pill.

[redcrx]

so use the pill and condoms if neither of you is prepared to go down the route of surgery.

[annie0000]

Sterilisation for a woman is major surgery and has hormonal effects on her for the rest of her life. The snip is a minor procedure carried out under local anaesthetic and rarely has any lasting effects - other than an improved sexual relationship as the risk is gone. My husband had it done 5 years ago and appart from a bit of discomfort initially, there has been no other problems.

Is it that you are scared of the op, or do you just want to keep your options open? ditto for your wife. Is it really that you don't want any more children together, but don't want to take the final step in case you meet someone else?

[foreverpools]

hi annie.
i intend to spend the rest of my life with the wife and kids but i am honestly frightened of getting the snip but i was talking to a mate who said he would never get the snip incase he split up with his wife and met someone else who wanted children which also has put me off even though my married life is 99% (nobodys perfect)

[Whoever]

I sense some double standards here. You're not prepared to have the snip, but you're perfectly prepared for your wife to suffer all discomfort and pain of pregnancy and childbirth? And you want to keep your options open for children in a possible second marriage but you're happy for your wife to be sterilised and lose her options? Use condoms combined with the pill, or give up sex. The pill is not 100% safe on its own. In the event of sickness or vomiting, the effectiveness of the daily dose is lost and even missing the dosage of one day's pill can leave a woman vulnerable to pregnancy. Nobody can keep all their options open against all the possible contingencies life throws at us. Time for you to bite the bullet I think !

[foreverpools]

if you knew our ages you would understand.
there is no way i will be splitting from my wife as we have 2 lovely daughters,a good home,marriage etc
at the end of the day i will not tolerate some doc cutting my sac.
i did not prepare my wife for this as it was not meant to happen.

[redcrx]

so if you dont want anyone cuttng your bits and you dont want your wife undoing surgery then you can only look at using 2 methods of contraception and hoping youre well covered or not having sex.

[annie0000]

Hi sorry for the delay in getting back to you - I presume from your response that you are both quite young. We were 36 (me) and 41 (oh) when he had the snip. We had two boys age 2 and 1. We actually had fertility problems before the first and took our chances afterwards and ended up with 2 kids 13 months apart. We took the decision at that point as we did not wanted to be tempted into another one later! They were initially reluctant to offer the op as my husband went for the consultations on his own - (Try trying to arrange a trip into clinic in town with two babies - while working and no nearby family!) However, he assured them that he had my permission. Their sticking point seemed to be that the children were very young and what if something happened to one of them and we wanted another. My husband told them that children were not a commodity to be replaced if you lost one!

I guess only you can make your decision, but I assure you, your sex life and relationship will improve when the risk of pregnancy is gone, but dont do it if you are not convinced that you will never realistically want more children.

Now that my kids are 7 and 6, I do get the odd pang thinking it would be nice to have another, but never strong enough to regret the decision or to leave my husband for! The thought usually disappears as soon as the boys break into an argument or I see my neighbour with a tearaway toddler.