Dogs and Children

[MrPots]

My parents own 4 dogs, two of which have shown aggression towards our 2 year old. On one occasion resulting in one of the dogs inflicting a bite wound to her face. They don't live nearby which means visits are normally over several days. However we are extremely reluctant to visit. We don't wish to cause offence to my parents and shutting the dogs away is not an option during our visits. Due to their commitments it's difficult for my parents to stay with us. Any suggestions on how to raise this issue with them would be greatly appreciated.

[ethanryan]

could you not stay in a bed and breakfast when you go to visit which means you could pend the days together and go out but you dont have to spend long periods around the dogs, and you can still see your parents.

[bednobs]

personally, if my dog had bitten someone, they wouldnt have to raise the issue with me!
i HATE irresponsible dog owners, which it sounds like your parents are. If the dog has actually bitten their grandchild on her face, and they dont do anything about it, that it awful!
why the hell isnt shutting the dogs away an option? Even in a dog crate or another room would do.
why can't the dogs go to kennels so theyre not there at all? Why cant your parents train them NOT to be agressive?
TBH i think this is totally shocking, and you parents and their dogs should be reported as dangerous. It'll be all very well them doing something about it when the dog has bitten you childs face off, or killed her but sorry wont do!

[BabsG]

Be up front with them. They obviously know that the dog bit your child and will understand your reluctance to expose them to danger again. Ethanryan's suggestion is a good compromise and I am sure that your parents will want to ensure their grandchild's safety.

[froggequene]

Either your parents compromise & restrain the dogs in some way when you visit, by locking them up or leashing them in another room or you visit without your child - it's that simple.

You cannot compromise your child's safety for fear of offending your parents. Both my aunt & her daughter have owned dogs for several years and at one stage they bred them, their dogs were aggressive towards small children and they were all locked up when people came to visit.

[Mamjet]

why isn't shutting the dogs away an option? Come on! What are you saying here??? Why don't you just let the dogs attack your kids again, as long as you don't offend your parents, eh?

Why the hell didn't your parents do something about the last atttack? Why didnt you???

[debbbie33]

i thought if a dog drew blood it was put down. what about next time, a bite on the face is bad enough but what if????????? that is a scary thought. 2 year old children are unable to fight off a dog. i just wouldnt be going back. there is nothing to be tactful about. surely your parents feel the same?

[coco pops]

You Never take chances with dogs that bite where children are involved. Ask your parents to put the dog/s that are aggresive into boarding kennels when you visit . If they won't then you don't visit.

[leelapops]

MrPots, I can only agree with the general vibe of this thread.
You CANNOT endanger your child for the sake of politeness. Your parents need to accept this and take reasonable measures to ensure that you can visit without fearing for your child's safety.
The dogs need to be at the very least out of the room, or crate-trained, if your parents want to see you and their grandchild(ren?).
Why do you say, "shutting the dogs away isn't an option?" I hope it isn't because they are blind to the potential risk they are placing your daughter at by refusing to acknowledge their pets' volatile temperaments.
My dog will never be allowed near children, he is very nervous, and they frighten him; this manifests itself in an aggressive way, and I would never put him in a situation where anything could happen. I make sure he isn't walked around 9am or 3pm, near playparks at weekends etc.
What are your parents' "commitments"? Could they not take a couple of days off to visit? After all, it's a 2-way relationship, it shouldn't be you doing all the running, which it sounds like it is.
I know it's not a comfortable subject, but you need to be very direct with your parents. Just be assertive: tell them that you enjoy visiting, and that you want them to continue see their grandchild frequently, but that you will not be putting her in danger, and they need to deal with their dogs somehow so she is not at risk.

Good luck.

[hellywellywo]

Hello Mr Potts, WE had the same kind of problem with my parents dog. To be honest your parents are in the wrong. It is now considered that a dog who shows aggression and has bitten ANYONE is dangerous. We told my parents that we wouldn't go and see them anymore while the dog would be near my family.

eventually the dog tried to attack a delivery man and they decided to remove him from the house.

Please stick to your guns, you know your little girl could be hurt again and taking her back into the situation may prove irresponsible on your part.

[Whoever]

I think you're going to have to be forthright with your parents about your concerns and tell them you're not going to stay at their house while the dogs are there because they pose too great a risk to your daughter's safety after the previous incident. Maybe you just have to stay in a guest house and have them visit you. Alternatively, perhaps they can put the dogs in kennels while you visit? As long as they are on your parents' property there's always a risk that they could escape into the room where your daughter was and bite her again. Not only is this potentially dangerous. It will cause trauma to your daughter and could cause her to be fearful of dogs all her life, if she isn't already because of the previous incident.

[tufty7]

its just not worth the risk, hindsight is a lovely thing but you are aware that something could happen , just be up front tell them your daughter will not come to stay because of the dog biting her which resulted in her having nightmares etc etc ,
You could always have someone look after your kid(s) for a week end so you can go up just as a couple, they should take the hint , its just not worth the risk , there is no room in society for nasty dogs that chew a kids face off .......

[MrPots]

Tufty7 - Many thanks for your reply - I just wanted to point out that our 2 year old has not had nightmares about the situation. As with all children at that age they look to us as parents for our reaction when something this happens. We reacted very calm afterwards and didn't make too much of a fuss so that everytime our child went near a dog wasn't scared.

[Ice.Maiden]

MrPots - I'm sure you're finding this situation awkward to deal with, but as the others've said, your parents feelings don't come into this. They must know that their dogs are inclined to go for your son, and should appreciate you being blunt with them. In fact, they shouldn't even need to question what you say, if they're responsible people. Your child comes first, so it's a case of - get rid of the dogs before visits - or not at all, I'm afraid.