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Lost myself - please help... in The AnswerBank: Body & Soul
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Lost myself - please help...

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lovefoolb4u | 15:24 Sun 12th Oct 2008 | Body & Soul
9 Answers
Ever since I moved to come to university, I've been finding it so hard to be myself. It's come to the point where I've lost myself - I'll look back at photos taken literally days before I left my hometown, and not even recognise the once crazy and hilarious girl that I was.

I have no idea what has happened! No one here actually knows who I am. I actually showed someone a video that me and my friend made when we were bored, and it was so funny that the person I showed thought I'd been drunk! They didn't realise that's actually who I am. It's really depressing me.

I do have sudden bursts, like last night, where I'll just completely be myself and love myself, and other people will love me too! But it never sticks. Does anyone know any books or anything that might help me, or have any direct advice? Has anyone else been through this, and things have ended up alright?

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It could be that you dont feel comfortable or accepted into your new environment which could explain why you are holding off from being yourself, you may relax in time, its still early days yet.
It's called "growing up". You are now in an environment with lots of other people who only months ago were laughing "making videos" with thir friends. Now you have the new responsibility of getting down to mapping out your future ,a real serious life event, with like minded intelegent peers. Be relaxed in the knowledge that your humour and sense of fun will never go away. Keep a diary of your new life, and good luck.
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that's the thing - I've lost my humour and sense of fun...
Maybe you have for the moment, but once your new environment becomes familiar and you start to 'give' rather than 'fight' then your humour and sense of fun will come back. It's a matter of feeling at ease and letting your environment become part of you. The more you fight the harder it is!
I've read a lot of your posts lately and I do think you're fighting rather than going with the flow... life isn't easy but you can make it easier!
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think you are feeling homesick, just be yourself it will work out. Good luck with your studies.
Question Author
Thanks everyone.

I wouldn't say Im hanging around with people that aren't my sort really. Like I said, on the rare occasions that I do let myself come through, people really like me.

I'm trying to go with the flow, and I'll keep trying. Thanks for the answers!
I remember feeling the same, a long time ago! Try not to worry, it is only natural - your surroundings and the people around you will heavily influence who you are. Everyone reacts to change in different ways - you are just feeling insecure and self conscious. You will find a away to adapt, and you will change. Just try to do things that make you feel happy, and stay relaxed. Try something new too! I'll bet that many others around you are feeling exactly the same, though they may not realise it.
I know how you feel. Only my family know the real me. I don't feel like I can be myself with other people I am around such as work colleagues and other people. Think its feqar of being rejected or something.

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