Can it work!?

[wiggal]

Hey all!

So some of you may know that I have recently split with Mr Wiggal, which even to me know sometimes seems weird! But after 6 years (we met when I had just turned 17) someone came along to make me realise I didnt feel how I should!

I thought I was so in love with my ex, and one day he would propose and we would have kids and so on, but now, so quickly we are no longer together, and I am with someone else!

I never cheated on Mr Wiggal, dont think I could of lived with myself if I did! Just found myself having feelings for someone else which made me question the whole thing.

Mr Wiggal has said it will never work with the new bloke and it is pointless even trying to make it work, wouldnt last long and all sorts! Now although he may be saying it because he is hurt, there is a 17 year age gap between me & the new arrival, he has 2 kids, and well he is technically my boss! (Just to make things really interesting!)

Just kinda looking for some one to say that things may work, as I am really happy now, happier then I have been in the last few years even though it has only taken feeling like this to realise it!

Just looking for opinions really! :)

[grasscarp]

This is going to be difficult. Affairs at work dont always work, and when you are together all day and all night it is even harder. I was in a situation where I worked with my husband and it was doomed. We stopped working together to save our marriage. Then there are his children, which may cause problems. And then there is a 17 year age difference, so he could be your father. When the first flush of romance wears off it is unlikely that this is a forever thing. What happens is up to you both. Good luck.

[Barmaid]

Hi Wiggal - I was wondering today how you were getting on.

I really can't say whether it will work or not since you can't make a judgement on the chances of a relationship working out based on limited circumstances such as age, children etc. It may well work. Equally it may not. The only two people who can know that are you and your new arrival. If you are both happy just get on and enjoy it and ignore what other people say.

If nothing else, it has made you realise that ex Mr Wiggal was not for you.

A friend of mine told me when I decided to move in with Mr BM that it was all too soon and it would never work. I told him to butt out because it felt right. And every day it gets even better.

[carrust]

Glad you are happy barmaid......Have you managed to keep off the fags though?

[wiggal]

Hey grasscarp,

We arent living together as such at the mo, I am back at my mums but spending 3 or 4 nights at his.
I havent met his kids yet but he is sort of introducing them to the fact I am around (his 12 yr old daughter got excited when she saw my toiletries in his bathroom thinking he had bought them for her!). But his ex (their mum) has been told about me as they have not been split up that long, although the relationship between them was dead for a long time before!
I guess it is just see how it goes really/ He makes me really happy and I seem to do the same for him!

It is weird how well we get on really, we have such a laugh and just really get on, even though there is the age gap!

[wiggal]

When I say he is my boss, it is kind of weird as we are a few members of staff left to wind the company we work for up, and I was put in his department as a project but before hand worked in IT.

So its not like he is my long term boss or anything as I only have a job left for a few more months.

[karenmac60]

I met mr mac at work, where he wasn't exactly my boss, but he was senior to me. He is also 15 years older than me and although he doesn't have any children, I have one. We have been together for nearly 6 years now and got engaged after only 4 months and married a year or so later. We still work together although we are now on the same level and it has never caused any problems with us. Same goes for the age difference. It's sometimes more obvious because he has health problems, but they aren't age related so they would still be there if we were the same age. As far as the kids go, you just have to take things slowly and accept that there are always pitfalls in being a step parent. Just remember that their dad has chosen to be with you, they haven't, so don't force things. Good luck x

[jackthehat]

If you look to the future with a positive attitude anything is possible.
You sound as if your relationship with the ex-Mr Wiggal is still throwing a large shadow over your new relationship. This will wear off, especially as your new focus becomes more concentrated on your new chap.

I should imagine you'll receive a 50/50 split in answers to your question. For every positive pronouncement there will be a negative tale. However, *you* are the one inside this relationship and know which direction to take, which bumps to smooth over and which hurdles to overcome (or go round).

One step and one day at a time. Be honest with your chap and yourself...........peace of mind is a great gift to bring to a relationship :o)

I wish you both all the best.

[ummmm]

On a positive note....the best way to get over a failed relationship is to meet someone else.

[wiggal]

Thank you all for your answers :-) Your inout and comments are very much appreciated!

I'm pretty much going for the take each day as it comes approach which I think is definitely the best for both of us as we are both not long out of relationships so dont want to rush anything.
Taking my time and enjoying what I have and enjoying feeling happy seems to be working for me at the minute!

:-)

[LoftyLottie]

Wiggal good luck. I wish you every happiness. You seem to have your head screwed on about this and obviously there will be difficulties.

Did you get the pets sorted out by the way?

Lottie

xx

[wiggal]

Hey lofty!

Thank you :) I know there will be difficulties... they started last night but that is between my new fella and his ex, and she has gone to say that he met me before they seperated and he moved out to be with me! Which is complete rubbish as he had moved into his new place a atleast a month before I even started talking to him, so I am now officially being classed as a home wrecker!!

As for the pets, Cefa (my very special cat who everyone said was my favourite!) has gone to live with my new fella at his so I can keep her :-)
Thinks didnt quite work out with Cleo going to live with Tambo.. My ex was going to take her down at the weekend but said things didnt seem quite right, so he has kept hold of her.

He said he will concentrate on Ashke (my samoyed) and I can work on the rest of the cats, which is ok and means it is not all down to me!!

xxx

[LoftyLottie]

Hope everything works out OK for you.

Keep in touch x

[Androcles]

Poor Mr Wiggal (or Lucky?). How long before Mr Right gets the heave ho, because something better has come along? I don't wish you badly, just hope that you don't get carried away after hurting him, and then find it was a phantom......

[LoftyLottie]

Oh for goodness sake. Wiggal had been with her ex for 6 years and since she was 17. 17 is very young and people change a lot from teens into 20s. You make it sound as if she has been changing partners on a regular basis. These things happen and better now than if kids had come along. Unfortunately, one person always gets very hurt in these circumstances, and I am sure Wiggal feels sorry for her ex.

[wiggal]

Thank you lofty :-)

Androcles, I can kind of see where your opinion is coming from, after all I have ended up with someone so soon after splitting with myex, however I can assure you it was not a case of something better came along!

Someone came along and made me realise that things had changed between my ex and I, and that I didnt feel how I used to about him, or should be feeling.

Whatever happens between me and my new partner, whether it does work or whatever, the fact is the relationship wasnt right with my ex.