Should I stay or should I go?

[clipclop1]

After 9 wonderful years together.... I have sold my beautiful horse (circumstances just not right anymore, nothing bad about him) to a lovely lady who is going to give him a nice home for the rest of his life. He's supposed to be leaving this saturday and the big question is do I load him up in the wagon and say my goodbye's there and then....? Or follow the wagon down (100 miles) to see him in his new home... they both have their pro's and con's and my initial instinct was, ofcourse, to follow him down, but my family and friends think that il be pro-longing the sadness of saying goodbye, il be able to go visit whenever I want and all that but im torn as to what to do about my baby this saturday......?? any nice advice welcomed....

[Messalina]

I really feel for you, it must be very painful but I would make a clean break when he has been loaded into his wagon & then give him a few weeks to settle into his new home before visiting him.

[carmalee]

been a horse owner most of my life so can sympathise - know what I'd do but maybe that's not right for you - only you can decide that. I'd follow him down, off load and lead around for a while to let him have a few snatches of grass then put him in the stable or field, give him a carrot and a pat then leave immediatey. I'd like to be able to picture him in his new surroundings. It's lucky for both of you that you've found a good home for life for neddy. chin up.

[lankeela]

Being totally practical I would be worried about you driving back all that way whilst upset at having said goodbye. I would say your goodbye's and wave him off to his new life and then keep in touch. I once let my horse go out on loan for a few months as I was working away and could not give him the time he deserved. Although I could visit him it was the most miserable time in my life, till the lady who had him had to move away and asked if I would let her take him - I said no, as I couldn't bear to part with him and not see him very often. Probably not much help, but I do know how you are feeling.

[tamborine]

Box & leave; comfort yourself with you've done your best for him.

[bld767]

I would think that if he's going s fair distance away, I'd say my goodbyes to him at home - I think that you are prolonging the agony to follow him 100 miles away to his new home. And then leave it for a little while for him to get adjusted to his new home before you go and see him, to be fair to the new owner and him. I had to do this for my last horse (circumstances probably similar to yours) and was really happy to hear from his new owner how well he'd settled in, but I didn't visit for quite some while, and when i did he was obviously well loved and well treated. Hope this helps a bit.

[swedeheart]

Follow him. I'm not a horse owner or even a horse person very much, I'm speaking from pure instinct and as an animal lover in general. Follow him.

Lankeela makes a valid point when she's worried about you driving back all upset. If I were you I'd... I don't know what I'd do, get curtains for my car ha ha... or in *some* way arrange a "crying facility" where I could cry my heart out before starting back. I'm serious, I would. But I would follow him. You are going to live with that farewell for the rest of your life, you want to do it right. He'll be fine - make sure that you will, too. I'll send you a thought tomorrow xx

[clipclop1]

Thankyou everyone for your kind words and thoughts, well he went today at about 1pm, I loaded him up (the first time EVER he's not loaded straight away too!) and waved him off, well, half cried and waved, and watched the lorry go until I couldn't see it anymore.... yeah, think it would have been too much to drive back as all my thoughts would be consumed by him and our years together and it would make it even worse, so have been on the sofa all afternoon drinking lots of tea and dunking biscuits to make me feel better.....! It really is the end of an era but I can go visit him whenever I want which is nice, il let them settle in together first then have a day out seeing him.
Thanks again guys! x

[carmalee]

keep dunking the biscuits - have just been through a similar thing but with a dog (I foster for a breed rescue and this particular one got right in under the skin - blasted creature!!) so know how you're feeling. Chin up, the horse is fine and that's what it's all about. Stay well