I've Just Bought A New Kettle

[naomi24]

The instructions for use include a paragraph under the heading  'How to boil water'.

 

So pleased they told me.  

 

Have you seen any instructions that go just that bit too far?

[Barmaid]

"Do not eat, drink or smoke whilst applying this medication" on some cat "spot on" treatment.  So whilst one person holds the squirming cat with both hands, and the other person parts the fur and applies the drop on, I was wondering with what they are going to hold the fizz, canape or fag.

Best instruction is "Keep away from children".  Yep.  Do that.  Religiously.

[ToraToraTora]

I've seen serving suggestion on a bottle of vinegar! "sprinkle on chips"!

[New Judge]

I had a tinned steak & kidney pudding a few years go. The insructions read:

"Remove lid and stand in boiling water for 20 minutes".

I couldn't quite manage the twenty minutes before Mrs NJ had to run me down to A&E. It took about three months for my feet and ankles to heal.  🤣

[Canary42]

I've just bought a kitchen appliance which has a 31 page User Manual. The first 7 are nothing about operating, they're all about safety. Some of these are priceless, e.g.Do not throw this product into fire,  keep it away from edge of the table to prevent it falling.

It's really all a defence against the Blame & Claim Brigade.

[barry1010]

Do not carry by lid on a jar of coffee

 

[piggynose]

Wasn't there a warning on a packet of peanuts a while ago?

Warning Contains Nuts!

[mushroom25]

on a hotel room hair dryer:-

"Do Not Use In Shower"

[melv16]

Instructions on an electrical screwdriver I bought... so easy a woman can use it😁😁😁

[theshedman]

On a packet of frozen peas " boil separately" and a friend I was working with started doing just that.  We thought he was taking along time doing the food.  We never asked him to do it again.  Maybe that was his idea.

[cashier]

Years ago a bar of soap from M & S: wet bar with water and rub over body.

[10ClarionSt]

There's that old one isn't there: seen on a packet of peanuts - May contain nuts.

Actually, on the car I've got, I keep getting annoying messages appearing on the dashboard, one of which says: Looking at this screen is dangerous whilst driving. 😄

[10ClarionSt]

Sorry piggy, I should pay more attention!

[Smowball]

These are so funny,but NJ's had me laughing out loud! : )

[curlyfries81]

There are certain instructions that came with my last electric toothbrush that make the mind boggle. I'll leave it at that.

[Arksided]

Most Electrical appliances "Read instructions carefully before..."

Come on I'm a bloke.

[DTCwordfan]

I remember the first Cif advert in Saudi - I was visiting - and they allowed photographs to be shown, no film...Cif was pictured sitting on the edge of a bath. The Saudis initially saw it as a shampoo - I guess guaranteed frizzy hair?