Murraymints Story

[mrs_overall]

Murraymints was born in a tenement in the Gorbals district of Glasgow. From an early age she knew she was destined for fame but having no apparent talents she didn't know in which direction fame lay. After obtaining a clutch of GCE O levels (Physics, Unarmed Combat, Domestic Science, Steam Roller Maintenance, Flower Arranging and History) she pondered long and hard on her future. Deciding against the traditional Glasgow careers for girls (single parenthood, alcoholism, shoplifting and drug addiction) she began an apprenticeship as a welder in the shipyards on the Clyde. The shipyard workers were at first incredulous but she soon earned their respect (and fear.) She could out-lift any of them when it came to heavy machinery and in the pub after work she was usually the only one still standing after a brawl.
Her yearning for fame intensified every time she was mistaken for a celebrity and asked for her autograph. It mattered not that she was only ever mistaken for Robbie Coltrane, Arthur Mullard and Rab C. Nesbitt. Her homely features would contort into the semblance of a smile and she would daydream of having her day in the sun.
Her epiphany occurred on a night out at the town hall to watch a wrestling match. This was something she knew she could be good at. She approached the wrestler's manager who signed her up on the spot and her career to fame as Murray "The Mauler" Mints began. She pioneered several unique holds (the Inverted Atomic Drop with Flugelhorn, the Reverse Bulldog Double Armbreaker and the Wheelbarrow with Stomp and Triple Whammy.) The pinnacle of her career was being crowned Women's World Wrestling Champion of 1984.
She led an itinerant lifestyle as a wrestler and part time welder and had never experienced romance. Wrestling (and the occasional welding mishap) had taken their toll, leaving her with cauliflower ears, a broken nose and several interesting scars. She joined the Desperado Dating Agency and after several false starts (where her potential dates had run away screaming), she secured a date with a Brad Pitt lookalike in the village of Answerbank Under the Wold. She booked a room in the village pub and wondered nervously if sending a photo of Cheryl Cole with her application had been a mistake. Brad Pitt stood her up, but on the plus side, the landlady of the pub took a shine to her and employed her as a bouncer. figuring Murray could inflict more damage on troublesome customers than the nail studded shinty stick she kept under the bar.
It was during a brawl in the pub that her eyes met with those of a leering plumber who smelled faintly of goat and Old Spice, who was about to change her life for ever.

[excelsior-1]

looks like murraymints is about to finally meet the love of her life.

another superb story, mrs_o, well done

[albaqwerty]

Brilliant Mrs O, I knew Murray was a weegie reject!!!
'she was only ever mistaken for Robbie Coltrane, Arthur Mullard and Rab C. Nesbitt.' all at the same time.

[excelsior-1]

good morning alba.
how are you today?

[mrs_overall]

Alba - what is a weegie?

[mazie]

A Glaswegian mrs_o

[mazie]

Oh, excellent story yet again x (meant to say that on my last post)

[albaqwerty]

sorry Mrs O, thanks Mazie.
Murray has been calling me a nearly-weegie for some time too!!
Ya gotta love her cauli ears, I always thought it was the result of being too close the the 1 o'clock gun :-D

[sunny-dave]

Weegie : "It is a contraction of the word Glaswegian, referring to people from Glasgow, although it may be used in some contexts to refer to any Scottish person who comes from anywhere south of Stonehaven"

[sunny-dave]

too slow again dave ... :+()

[mrs_overall]

lol

[albaqwerty]

slow is good Dave :-D

[sunny-dave]

Good stuff Mrs Overtrouser

< desperate attempt to curry favour >

[Traci66]

MrsO, brilliant yet again, there's still time for you to start a new career xx

[LochNessMonster]

Two Scottish Terrier walking down the street together having a chat.

When one says to the other "I'm awa"

So the other cocked his leg and pee'd on him ?

[mrs_overall]

A new career as what Traci????

<<<looks worried>>>

[Traci66]

A writer of course, what else?

[mrs_overall]

Doh!

Thanks xx

[albaqwerty]

Do you think we could ask the Ed
to put all of these into one continuous thingy so we could all have a darned good read over the, ahem, forthcoming, seasons jollies?

[mrs_overall]

Dunno Alba.

I'm still surprised I haven't been banished for life after the name I gave Tenrec's billygoat

[albaqwerty]

botheration, missed it, will have to go and search.