I'm Superstitious And I'm Getting Worse!

[Meg888]

I know this sounds nuts, but as I get older I'm becoming extremely superstitious. I never used to be when I was younger, I would deliberately walk under ladders etc. But now I think I'm verging on ridiculous. I had two gents knock at the weekend to tell me about Jesus Christ, and I consider myself a christian, but I don't go to church. I told them politely I didn't wish to talk to them about it and spent the rest of the weekend feeling a bit awful and wary. Thinking I should have at least offered them a hot drink (as it was freezing) and now I'm thinking something bad is going to happen as a result of my dismissing them? I can find myself overthinking about these things and at the moment, life is going well and I get very worried at times, thinking something is going to come and spoil it all.

[MadMen]

I don't think this would be classed as 'superstition' but more anxiety.

I'm going to sound mad now, but I have these weird little 'things' I have to do every day and, if I don't, then my anxiety levels go THROUGH THE ROOF and I think something seriously bad is going to happen.
At first I thought it was just a bit of OCD with various things (switching lights 4 times, door handle 3 times, plug swicthes 4 times etc, etc) but it's got worse as I've got older and I genuinely can't get to sleep at night sometimes because I worry so much about it and have this underlying 'fear'.

I wouldn't have it in the situation you've described above. For me it's about doing/not doing things I have become used to doing - if that makes sense.

Are there other examples?

[RATTER15]

If you look into the origins of most superstitions you will soon learn that they are mostly based of silly nonsense and some based on common sense, walking under a ladder with a guy working over head could be risky! it isnt difficult.

Its a bit like religion really really, just silly stories.

Try looking at the basis of superstitions and rationalise them.

[woofgang]

If its affecting your life then its possible to get treatment, go talk to your GP.

[MadMen]

Cognitive therapy would probably be helpful.

Your GP can point you in the right direction.

[Meg888]

That may make more sense MadMen; I suppose what I'm trying to do is 'avoid anything bad happening' by toeing to superstitions. That underlying fear you talk about is quite familiar with me. It seems much worse at night and more so I find, the day/night after I've had a drink. I just seem to worry incessantly, even though I don't really need to. I had a terrible year last year with health, relationships, money then sadly my Mum died. I'm not dwelling on any of it, I just don't wish to have to have a life resemble any of it again. But I panic about my job, my daughter, I seem to constantly think what life would be like if I didn't have either, or if my daughter didn't have me. I've a good job which I've worked at for 15yrs and it is not 'at risk' at all. My daughter is in good health and always has been so no worries there.

[MadMen]

Definitely anxiety Meg. You have my deepest sympathy, it's the bane of my life.
Like you, I get mine mainly at night time. In fact, last night I went to bed at half ten and was still wide awake at 2.50 this morning. I literally lay there trying to get to sleep, and then I'll bolt upright as if I have this immediate fear that something bad is going to happen to me, or someone close to me.
It's actually quite nice to chat to you about this, as unless someone's experienced it themselves, then you just end up sounding a bit crazy. lol

With regards to the 'drink' thing. Yes, I know what you mean. I am trying very hard at the moment to steer clear or alcohol, but it can be a vicious circle as when I get these high states of anxiety, I find the only thing that 'helps' is in fact a drink. Not good :-( I also find that tiredness seems to make it worse, but I realise it's easy said than done to just go to bed early and try and relax. (See prime example above) :)

They say certain things trigger anxiety and hearing about the year you had last year I think it's only natural you may be feeling this way, or may be the underlying reason why you are feeling this way.
It's easy to say you're not dwelling on any of it, but it was only a year ago so I don't think anyone would expect you to be 'over' any of it just yet.
Maybe you haven't dealt with these issues as much as you think you have...?

[MadMen]

My last response was very rushed. Without wanting to bore you, I could have written much more (lol) but I am literally just about to go out.

I will log back in this evening though and have a look. I'm not sure how much I can help, as it's been ten years for me and it just gets worse. I seem to be adding more and more to my 'list'.
It is helpful to share it without someone who understands though... :-)

Take care and speak soon. xx

[Meg888]

Thank you MadMen and to Ratter & Woofgang who also replied. I've just been looking at some self help cognitive therapy books so if there is any that can come recommended.... Mum's death was expected, and my health returned to normal - I'm pretty certain I'm ok regarding these two. However, I split with my long term partner - we're back 'together', but he now lives in his own place. This is how I want it, I wouldn't want him back home or his kids. I'm very bitter over how he and his daughter treat me and mine last couple of yrs, I keep trying to put it to the back of my head but I have to admit it consumes me, and I'm not normally like this. The split left me in dire straits, however, I've managed to turn this around and I'm coping very well financially on my own. MadMen... Feel free to use me as a sounding board if it helps :-)

[MadMen]

I'm in a similar situation, with regards to an ex. I try to put it behind me, but it's not always that easy, and it/he does play on my mind more often than not... which is annoying.
It's harder when there's kids involved, as you can't just decide to never see them again. Meh.
Try to focus on the positives Meg, the fact you're doing absolutely fine on your own and don't 'need' him, the fact that your health is good and that you're secure in your job. They are all really good things to feel positive about.
I'm a bit of the opposite to that, I kind of fall apart when I'm on my own. Actually, I'm probably the worst person to speak to about this. I'm a lost cause! Lol :D

Cognitive therapy is good, but I found as soon as I stopped, I just went back to my 'normal' ways. Normal being not normal at all :)
I don't actually have any books, but I do have lots and lots of printed out sheets of paper that family members have given to me. I keep them in my bedside table and have a read of it when I'm feeling anxious.
There's lots of info online regarding anxiety and ways to 'beat it'.
Sometimes it gets to a point where I'm in tears, it eats me up that much.
More often than not though, it's just a pain in the bloody arse!
I don't get like it every single day, and it's much more likely to happen when the kids have gone to bed and I'm on my own, but either way it's not very nice and it does get a bit 'controlling'.

Next time you're thinking that something bad is going to happen, as a result of you not doing something, give yourself a good talking to.... out loud if no one's around. You may laugh, but a fellow panic attack sufferer once told me to do that, and it does work :-)

[Old_Geezer]

Well I'm glad to say I'm not superstitious touch wood

[MadMen]

Lol. I don't think the OP is either, OG :-)

[Old_Geezer]

PS I agree with MadMen. Anxiety was the first thing that sprung to my mind. After all not giving someone a hot drink is no superstition that I know of. Maybe you need to consider what is causing you this feeling of ill ease, since it's a recent change not a life long characteristic.

[Khandro]

It isn't 'nuts' and even great minds do odd things, the philosopher Emmanuel Kant, on an afternoon walk, was seen to trail his stick clattering along some railings, feeling he had missed one he went back and tapped it.

[MadMen]

"Even great minds do odd things"

That's what I keep telling myself, Khandro... ;))

[hellywelly4]

I'm 72 and have suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder sincce I was about 12. Fortunately it is livable with now, but some of what has been said really point to that, particularly in your case, MadMen. It is this intense anxiety that is overwhelming, and the act has to be done again and again to stop the terrible fear that something awful will happen.
It is a very real problem, and you do need help. Fortunately the doctors understand it now, generally, and they will give you positive help.
I do hope you both get help, it's a very lonely condition. Some people dismiss it, but it is very real.

[excelsior-1]

hello meg

i agree with the above answers ... you are clearly a person of good conscience, and are racked by feelings of anxiety

you will feel better in good time ... i for one, certainly am not superstitious - walking under black cats etc. etc

[tonyav]

Same here excel, I always drive around a ladder if I see one in the road.

[suzecruze]

You do not have to feel guilty about not making coffee for 2 cold callers selling religion. Even friends that ask you out and you feel embarrassed about not wanting to. Just say no and don't think up any excuses, they are not needed with friends or strangers. I deal with anxiety by imagining how I will feel about an issue in a weeks time. Truth is I will have forgotten about that issue and be worrying about another which means it's not worth worrying about really. Hope you feel better soon x x

[Marijn]

I hope you feel better soon. In the TV programme that's been on recently about people who have cleanliness-OCD, who help people who have hoarding OCD, the narrator said that both these kinds of OCD are brought on by loss e.g being bereaved or the breaking up of a relationship.

[atalanta]

It's bad luck to be superstitious