Village Life Continued.....

[mrs_overall]

"Don't hit me, I can explain" screamed Sunny Dave as Murray took aim at him with her baseball bat. The pub went quiet as Murray said "This had better be good. Barmaid is going to go bonkers if she finds out you've ridden your Honda 50 in here. Anyway, what are those cow horns and bread crate doing fastened to it?" Sunny-Dave turned the key and with a fart and a splutter the moped fell silent. "It's for the orphans party in the village hall. The moped is Rudolph and the bread crate is the sleigh full of presents."
"What presents? It's empty" shouted an observant Dee Sa from her usual Danger Seat (under the dartboard).
"I know" whimpered Dave "they must have fallen out as I rode here. That's why I've come in here...I urgently need some presents for the poor little orphaned kiddies." He turned and faced the villagers with an impassioned look on his face. As one, the villagers suddenly found the pub carpet fascinating to look at.
Stepping through from the Snug, Shoota said "We should all do what we can to help."
Faced with a man who appeared to be absent mindedly toying with a loaded shotgun pointing in their direction, the villagers began rummaging in pockets and handbags. A pile of items grew steadily on the bar. LadyJ (formerly known as Mrs J Bloggs, village lollipop lady, until Mr Bloggs purchased a suspect 'Lord of the Manor' title for ten shillings in 1970) stepped forward and said in the pseudo refined voice the villagers knew and had grown to hate "Aye'll take control of the situation. Taymes layke this call for a natural leader." With a gloved hand, she carefully poked through the sorry pile.
"Used carrier bags, dried up biros, a bus timetable, a packet of polo mints, a rain hood and a copy of Goat Breeders Weekly." Stepping back towards the crowd she waved a hand in the general direction of no one in particular and said "Sod this for a game of soldiers, I delegate. Pass us a stiff drink and some pork scratchings Minty love."
Stifling a sob, Dave said "We'll have to do something quick. Not only are the poor orphaned tots waiting in the village hall...so is Santa"
"Santa?" squawked several voices at once. "Who is playing Santa?"
"When I tell you" wailed Dave, "you'll understand why he can't be kept waiting..."
TO BE CONTINUED

[tonyav]

mrs overkill, I had two mags this week, one must have been stuck to the other when I picked them up from the top shelf in the news agents !.

[mrs_overall]

tony, if they weren't stuck together in the newsagents, I bet they were by the time you had finished with them ;-)

[tonyav]

LOL. I load the gun and she pulls the bloody trigger ;-)

[BlackadderV]

I shan't ask Mrs O to elaborate as I have an awful feeling that I know what she is referring to.

[sunny-dave]

Dear Mrs Overtrousers

I am pleased that you have given me a very large part

Max Kawasaki

[mrs_overall]

Tsk tsk blackadder! lol

[-Talbot-]

What presents? It's empty" shouted an observant Dee Sa

It works then!

Don't forget you will need a Christmas tree chopping down, Mrs Overbite

[mrs_overall]

Dave, make the most of it. You probably won't be appearing again until next week....and then it will only be your head and left hand when they fish them out of the river

[mrs_overall]

Talbot, keep your chopper in check for now, I have bigger things planned for you. I promise there are no owls involved

[-Talbot-]

I hope I have moved on from 'trimming the bushes of several elderly ladies in the village' :0/

[gness]

If Dave's going to end up in the river....can I have the Honda 50 please?

Not fussed about the bread crate thanks...x

[tonyav]

I'll rebuild the errrm engine for you, gness !.

[gness]

Thank you, Tony.....engine builders are few and far between...appreciate it......... ;-)

[sunny-dave]

You keep yer mitts of my big-end, Mr Vanilla

[tonyav]

It's ok sunny, I'll replace your rings !.

[Ann]

Keep 'em coming Mrs O - well done! :) xx

[wolf63]

I am awfully glad I don't live in a village - much too much excitement for me to cope with.

:--)

[clyde59]

Sounds like the best village to live in:-)

[Fusion5]

I have a story about a previous boss/finding a mag in his desk drawer/pages stuck together. I'll save it for another day. Lol lol

You really should consider taking up writing novels Mrs O.

[Dee Sa]

thanks Mrs O for giving myself a mention as requested thrilled to bits !
just like old times with your thrilling episodes can we have a xmas ghost story maybe, sometime in the future ? merry xmas Dee xxx