Why Don't Her Words Match Her Actions?

[Karzonian]

We met and spoke a bit end of last year into the start of this year. She got a boyfriend and he consequently made her stop speaking to me. Fast forward 6 months. He was abusive and controlling and she's no longer with him. Comes back into my life.

She has been struggling hard with mental health and has taken a lot of time off of work. My birthday was coming up so I asked if she wanted to meet for drinks. She said yes. Before asking her, I hadn't realised that she hadn't been leaving home and was just recovering. So it was a big step for her to come all the way out to meet me on some last minute plan. Anyway, beginning of drinks she goes 'oh it's probably a no go for us. Better to stay friends because of different religions, it's a big barrier. However, if you were the same religion as me, you'd without question be my boyfriend'. So I'm thinking if I'm friendzoned or if she just admitted she likes me but can't see a long term. Anyway, as it's my birthday. She tries to get me drunk and in the process drinks a lot herself. We end up kissing and hugging all night. Her arm is around my shoulder and my hand is firmly on her waist. I ask her if she's comfortable and she says 'yeah, I am' with a big smile on her face. End of the night comes and I'm putting her into a taxi because she is in no state to use the subway. She looks at me with a sad/serious face. Embraces me and wants me to kiss her. So I do. I can't imagine it was all the drinks.

Thoughts?

[Bobbisox1]

Sounds a bit like a romantic novel, how sad that religion has a place to play in your relationship and as we don’t know what that is ,can’t really offer any advice but good luck

[joko]

all you can do is wait and see how she is with you. unfortunately where alcohol is involved, people do things they wish they hadnt, their inhibitions are down & after what shes been through, she probably needed some fun & comfort.
however, she told you it was a no go for you 2 when she was sober, so all the cuddling etc could have just been her thinking, it was kind of a bit of kissing & cuddling for fun & comfort & that you knew that was all it was, because she told you.
she put a pretty big block on it, im assuming the religion thing is pretty big & cant be changed for both of you, so i wouldnt get your hopes up.

friendzone doesnt mean just a friend who didnt want to date you, it means someone who is using you & keeping you dangling by a thread & having you do things for them, like money, stuff, tasks etc, even to moan at about their boyfriend etc, and you accept it all, give gifts, be really sweet etc in the hopes of 1 day getting with them.
but theyre careful to keep you in the friendzone & on standby by always 'needing' you, praising you, but always puts a barrier to it going further.

this is actually not that common, most people dont use friends like that, but if thats what shes been doing to you & she keeps doing only that, to keep you hanging on then you need to move on.
remember though, shes just broke up etc so she needs time, so dont demand answers & try to make her be with you etc

[LadyCG]

Try asking her ... "How do you feel about what happened on my birthday?"

Just put the ball in her court rather than agonise over it. What will be, will be.

[1ozzy]

Find a publisher, write more, expect a lot of editing.

Modern Barbara Cartland