for situations vacant? The first advertised vacancy could be 'administrative assistant to the Ed'. the job description could be as follows:
'the successful candidate should have a sound IT background and be competent in reading and responding as necessary or unnecessary to copious amounts of pleading emails. An IT background is desirable but not compulsory but the ability to work under duress/monks in an antiquated ex religious establishment would be a distinct advantage. Unending patience, calmness under pressure and the lack of sensitivity to personal criticism, whether it be in jest or in earnest, would be a distinct advantage, National Minimum Wage would be all the remuneration offered but there would be plenty of payment in kind as the Monks have an excellent herb garden and also tread their own grapes and produce AB wine by the bucket full.' apply by pigeon post or snail mail to crystal Guides c/o the AB Monastery, Wimbledon Common.
(p.s. Anyone with a fear of orange need not apply)