Why Me??? Is anyone out there???

[Michelle8199]

well i'ts not something to talk about, but here goes. I'm in a very loving relationship and pregnant. But i'm scared that somethings going to go wrong. This year has been a nighmare for me so far I've found out my dad isnt my dad then i found out that this little boy i played with when i was young was actually my brother but he's dead now he died falling off a cliff aged 14. It was my older brother who told me and he just dies also on the 22cnd september aged 23 this year can't help but feel he did it to himself my mum messed him up so much and now i'm the only one left for her to mess with and i'm scared. Paul (my older brother) was the only person who understood what i went through as a child and now he's gone. Both my brothers died really young doe's that mean its my turn next?? i was brought up to belive in god how can i when everyone i love is gradually been taken away from me?? I'm so scared and now my mums clinging onto me i love her but also feel i hate her as i blame her for paul dying. She never cried at his funeral it devastated me. Can anyone help?? How do i find peace.

[4getmenot]

All I can say is, what a sad life (in the upsetting way) I cant imagine what your life has been like but it is the future you should be looking forward to, you say you�re in a happy relationship and you have a baby on the way, the most precious gift of all and just remember Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end. xx

[Michelle8199]

Life is so hard and everything has happened at once. I'm scared for my babys i dont want to bring them into this mess. But i don't know what to do??

[noxlumos]

Ok , Michelle I'd like to offer you my condolences about your brother etc youve been through an awful lot and are understandably feeling insecure and worried about a lot of things. First off, you can't turn back time, all you can do is learn from what you've been through and not make the same mistakes you've seen others make and you might have made yourself. You sound to me as if, under all of the hurt and fear, you have your head screwed on very well. Look at what you have achieved thus far. You've found a good, loving, stable relatrionship and you are pregnant. That's the basis for a great deal of happiness, don't lose sight of that. Your Mum, I am sure, is grieving in her own way, not everyone cries, or cries openly even to family and as you say you love her you can use these horrible events to really build your relationship and make it what you both want. Communicate and be honest with each other and go from there.Don't hang on to things from the past, remember by all means, but it's your life ahead of you , you need to think about and the new person you're going to be bringing into the world.They need calmness, love and stability and it looks like you are right on course to give them that, just give yourself a break and appreciate that you are bound to feel the way you do at the moment. It's ok. Nothing bad will happen, there is no pattern here, it's just that life is sometimes awful and unfair and during the course of it we all have to lose some people that we love.Just accept that there are folk worse off than you, and folk better off, but this is where you are and you need to make the most of everything you have so your life can be as relaxed and happy as possible and that of your child also. Don't be hard on yourself and give yourself time, it'll all be fine.

[raysparx1]

Hello Michelle, what has happened in your life so far has been horrible,but that does not mean the rest of it will be,you must focus on the good and positive things going on, you are loved,you love somebody and you are having a baby, these are such great things, you must focus on the future not what has happened,you can't do anything about that,also remember during pregnancy your emotions are going to be all over the place,talk to your partner about your hopes and your fears, don't bottle it up inside,talking is very important,don't let your mum mess your life up. if you can't talk to your partner then have a talk to your doctor, Ray

[raysparx1]

I didn't see noxys post cos I take so long to type, but he has put into words what I was tring to say but couldn't get the words right. Ray

[Surreygirl30]

~hug~

[redcrx]

Im sorry to hear that you are struggling at what should be a wonderful time of life, pregancy.
did you or your mum ever recieve counselling after the deaths of your brothers?
You have to try to look to the future for you and your family. perhaps you caould also speak to your midwife, pregnancy hormones can make things appear even worse than they already are but also there is such a thing as anti-natal depression which can be treated.
as already said, people deal with their grief in so many different ways and Im sure your mum is dealing with it as well, try and talk to her about how you both feel and this may help.

[pure-russian]

Stop being so full of self pity!!!!!1 I have lost 4 of my brothers and sisters before I am even 18! I do not think I have had a particualry sad life and I accept others lives have been harder.

[Michelle8199]

I'd like to say thanks for everyones answers as its nice to hear someones elses perspectives. And as for pure-russian i'm not looking for pitty it is sometimes better to share feelings and problems with people who WONT judge you i am not saying i've had avery sad life and i'm sorry for the loss of your brothers and sisters however i know there are people wjo have it worse off than me or you. I am grateful for what i have and grateful for all the happy times i had with my brothers i't just hurts for everything to happen at once.

[4getmenot]

please ignore the above troll, she comes on here purposly to upset people. dont let her get to you, she has no life of her own.

[4getmenot]

and she's a liar

[raysparx1]

Michelle, do as 4get says ignore the russian it keeps popping up with different names, it is a twonk.

[warpig1]

Michelle, can not add to anything to what Noxlumous has said except this.


XXXXXXXXXX



If you need to talk we are all here for you.

warpig1

[Pippa68]

Everyone has said it all (well, apart from one) and I live by the 'you never know what good things are round the corner' rule.

Take one day at a time...see about counselling if you feel you need it, there are people specialised in grief counselling who could help you tremendously ~ and a lot of them have been through it themselves. Your GP can advise. The russian is a prime example of what can happen if matters aren't resolved ;o)

Take care of yourself & your baby ~ tomorrow is another day xx

[pie+mash]

I/ve just told her to go disappear up her own ****

No report button to zap the low life...

[Floella]

Michelle,
I can empathise with you on this as I was 17 when I found out my Dad wasn't my father. I still call him Dad and as far as I'm concerned he bought me up so he's my Dad, I also had a brother who died aged 11 but at time I didn't know he was my brother. When I found out who my father was and realised that the boy who died was my brother I went through a delayed period of mourning.
I also found out that my grandfather had died through an announcement in the local paper. So I do know how confused you must be.
You sound like you are totally sensible and your baby will be born into a loving relationship so there is no reason why anything should go wrong.
And as tragic as it is that you have lost two brothers there is no logical reason why anything would happen to you.
Please try to relax while you are pregnant, and it might be a good idea to seek some bereavement counselling.
Good luck with the baby
Flo

[pure-russian]

I know I lie but it is true about my brothers and sisters anyway end of subject I am off.

[Nicolawi]

Here here!! Pure-Russain what exactly was the point of posting something so self centred and spiteful?
Michelle has obviously come on here to get some reassurance and empathy and self righteous, childish minded people like you hardly help matters!

And id just like to say Michelle my mum died four years ago after being an alcoholic all of my life and finally ending it all.
Its not easy when someone dies, especially when you feel that all around you dont understand.

But at the end of the day it seems all to easy to say but you need to remember that you aren't the one thats died and im sure that all of your relatives that have would hate you to feel like you have inside.

You be alright hun im sure-Time is the only healer.
x

[##Wardy##]

Mishelle, I picked up on your belief bit. All I will say is the Lord works in mysterious ways, he really does.

It was his will to take your family members away. He had his reasons and one day (hopefully many many years away") you will realise the method in his madness.

I never cried at my wifes funeral. In fact I laughed out loud at one point. It doesn't mean I didn't care. It is just I was brought up with a stiff upper lip and am fairly emotionless. My heart bleeds like a stabbed vein but my eyes are always dry.

My advice, remember their lives. Have a serious make or break chat with your mother and never stop believing. If you feel the need to halter your faith, it will not matter for a short while as God will always believe in you.

[BBWCHATT]

Michelle - God is giving you a precious gift to start over with - as you try to make your baby's life perfect, yours will be enhanced also. Time spent in making yours a safe and loving home will ease the pains of the past.

Merry Christmas Michelle.