Is anyone like me out there?

[gill3891]

Hi everyone,
The reason I am posting this question on here is because I feel a bit embarrassed about asking other people this....does anyone else every feel like they think too much? I know that this sounds a bit weird, but sometimes I feel like I think about things far too much and it's beginning to get me a bit depressed.
When i say think too much, basically I mean that everything that goes on with me, I seem to wonder about it in my head for ages afterwards, (like for example, if I've said something to someone, I often think for ages afterwards about how that person has taken it and whether they are going to think I meant something horrible or something).
I think this post goes to show how much I think way too much about things, as any 'normal' person wouldn't think twice about their thought patterns. I know this won't make much sense to many people, but I just wondered if anyone else feels like this ever and whether or not anyone's got any advice on how to stop this obsessive thinking!? I feel like it's going to make me crazy and depressed as I am constantly worrying about things I;ve said or done and how they could have been done differently. I think it stems from a need to be liked by people, but I really don't know! Thanks in advance guys

[R~B]

i am the same but i have learned to live with it and not let it bother me!

[snagged]

phew!!... take a breath gill ;o)

[gill3891]

Thanks for the supportive answers guys, next time.....don't bother!

[ummmm]

I'm the same as well. I even think about things that happened years ago. Things I said years ago. I thought I'd grow out of it and when I turned 30 and hadn't I went on a right downer. I'm ok now....as RB says, you learn to live with it

[dot.hawkes]

You need to establish a really close group of friends, even just a couple, that you can feel comfortable and relaxed with and not worry about what u say to each other, try speaking you mind on here, it will give u confidence..........oh you did, good start.

[Amiira]

Am a bit like that too gill. A lot of it is down to self confidence I guess.

[gill3891]

I just find it difficult to accept that I have to learn to live with feeling like this. I am constantly questioning whether I am a good person coz of the way people may take what I say and it's making me depressed!

[-Zorro-]

me too...i analyse to the nth degree over and over.....gets on my nerves at times. I used to wonder if everybody thought like me.

[gill3891]

thanks dot, I do have a close group of friends but I still feel like that with them sometimes! I think the only people I don't feel like this with is my boyfriend and my close family

[gill3891]

zorro, I know what you mean about over-analysing things, I'm very much like that too. I find it wvery hard to talk to really new people as I always wonder about saying the wrong things and making a fool out of myself. It's very strange coz there are sometimes that I am ok btu then others I question everything I say and do and worry that it;'s something wrong! How do you cope zorro?

[flump1]

Hi gill, you may have answered your own question when you mentioned the word ' obsessive' . It sounds like a touch of anxiety. Try distraction techniques such as wearing an elastic band on your wrist and when your thoughts run away pull on the band and stop them. I know it sounds silly but I needed help and this method worked for me. Pick up a book , crossword, jigsaw, newspaper, anything to take your mind away from the thought pattern. It takes a little time and as a band is easy to get hold of (try a pony tail band ) it is worth a go. Good luck X

[gill3891]

Thanks flump. I do think it might possibly be because of this. I do seem to have obsessive tendencies (I have a form of OCD, nothing severe but I heard if you have that type of personality then you tend to be like that in many ways). Those techniques seem worthwhile trying, thanks for your suggestions!

[-Zorro-]

gill....Ive been researching Aspergers Syndrome for about 4 months since I saw a link on here. A form of autism for "mainstream" people. i dunno if you have considered that. I have often wished that I could shut off my mind.

It goes completely blank in social situations tho.....but when Im alone or working away my mind is analysing all the time....and I dont mean analysing the work im doing.......

I pity the fool who gets on the wrong side of me coz I will analyse them in minor detail every second of every day...forever....compairing them with other similar people, forming patterns etc and finding their weeknesses.

i hate talking to new people unless Im drunk.

[R~B]

hey gill analyze this!!! ................ i gace a straight answer to your question and you tell me not to bother!!

have a guess if you have upset me!!

[Delgirl]

Gill, you are describing me to a tee!! I recently took myself off to the Doctor and saw a Counciller for a few months, she was absoloutely wonderful and we discussed exactly why I over thought everything! I really suggest if you can to see if you can get recommended by your Doctor to see a Counciller, it was so nice to talk to someone who was not someone I knew. The up shot of it is, I now don't over think anything, I don't care, I have become involved in activities and clubs and getting on and enjoying every last second because your a long time dead and what will you have to think about then!!!!!!!

[makemesmile]

gill3891 - I understand exactly how you feel and I sympathise. Sometimes I too go over things I've said and look at situations from every possible angle. It can get exhausting!
For me it's due to a lack of confidence - not trusting that my friends (or whoever) will understand that I mean welland am not trying to hurt them.
It basically comes down to self-esteem: believing that you're a good person who people like and trust.
Perhaps if you could have a chat to your GP about it, maybe consider counselling, or finding out about some relaxation techniques to help you let go. Flump1's posting contains an excellent idea - anything to break the cycle.
Maybe go to your local bookshop and have a look at the 'self help' shelf. There are some books that talk about 'silencing your inner chatter' but I can't for the life of me remember titles or authors. But you're not alone, if that helps at all : )

[~Wingnut~]

Hi gill and everyone.

I am exactly the same, infact I'm terrible and I am actually really glad you have posted this as I have seen that I am not alone in thinking sometimes that I am going mad with the over analyising and constant worrying. I too think it's because I want to be liked by people too (low self esteem), I never used to care tho?! I also go over things in my mind that were said and done blooming years ago and worry how that person may have taken it!
I put mine down to anxiety as it all started when I had my first anxiety attack and since then I don't feel like I have been 'normal'.
I constantly worry that someone may have taken what I have said the wrong way or if they act differently towards me I automatically assume it is because of something I have done/said, I get down sometimes because I just get so sick and tired of constantly thinking like this, I want a switch to make it stop.
When I feel particularly bad I do a hobby or come online to try to take my mind off of whatever is worrying me. I've also started saying to myself "Shut up Wingnut" to try to stop the thoughts and then concentrate my mind elsewhere.
Anyway I am rambling now and need to get off to school/work. Sorry for going on but you can see from mine and the other's replies above that you are not alone and hopefully you can overcome this or at least feel a bit more positive than you did when you first posted :o)
Good luck xxx

[Eve]

How about some meditation classes where they help teach you to try and switch off through various techniques.

You could start off by having the classes as your switch off peace time during the week then when you feel you're thinking too much then say give yourself say 5 minutes to try and turn your thoughts posiitive and then switch off and use the techniques to clear your mind.

Target your weaknesses and where you lack confidence and think up some positive mantras which you can repeat to yourself say in the morning and evening, stick them somewhere at home you can see them and you can use them whenever you feel a lack of confidence.

x

Sooner or later it will become more of a habit and you will find yourself doing it automatically.

[MiniN]

Hi gill,

I've also been there and felt like your slowing making yourself go utterly bonkers! my problem was i had too much time on my hands. for me, getting busy stops me over-analyzing and i also think 'why let it bother me coz they/that's not really important in my life'.

perhaps the best way to stop worrying is to prioritize the things that you stress over. for example, stressing over whether the girl in the shop thinks your a cow for not smiling will not really affect your life in any meaningful way.

also, everyone feels like this at some point in their life so your not alone.

x

[gill3891]

You guys are the best! It feels so good to know that I'm no alone and that some people have very useful advice on how to deal with it! I alreadu feel much better about things, just knowing that I can possibly 'get better' and be more confident really helps! Thanks for all the great advice and for giving the time to reply to me, it's things like this and people like you guys who really do help others. Thanks! :0)