All of which reminds me of this:
Eleanor Bron: Sorry, sir. The club's full.
Upper Class Man: But I have an invitation. Do you know who I am?
Peter Cook: [to the people in the queue] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. May I have everyone's attention for a moment? This gentleman doesn't seem to know who he is. If anyone here recognises this man, can you come to the front of the queue and tell him his name.
Upper Class Man: **** you!
Peter Cook: You'll have to queue for that, too, I'm afraid, sir. There's a �5 waiting list.