How would you cope?

[dot.hawkes]

Been to visit my 93 year old great aunt in Huddersfield Hospital today, her cancer has spread and is causing renal failure, which means she only has a few days left.
She is always cheerful but surprised us all when she told us about the doctor at halifax Infirmary who saw her last week.
he arrived at her bedside, looked at her file and without introducing himself or even saying hello, he said ' that cancer you have has spread to your kidneys'

With a wry grin on her face she said to us, 'I'd not be having yon mon as me doctor even if I was deein' we all just burst out laughing and she shrugged her shoulders and smiled cheekily. She's a star.

How would you cope?

[cruella]

Hi dot,
Laughter is often the best medicine.
Your Aunt certainly is a STAR!
If you did not laugh, you would cry.
Best Wishes. Thinking of you, your family and you Aunt.

[bensmum]

She really is a star and what a wonderful attitude. So much for the doctor's bedside manner though!
I'd like to think I would be able to crack a joke in similar circumstances but I don't know and hope perhaps I never have to find out.

[Beads]

She sounds lovely Dot. And she does sound like a star. Best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time.
Beads

[China Doll]

I don't know how I'd cope.

But I see people coping with cancer and the fact they're dying everyday. (Well every week day).

Their bravery never ceases to amaze me. I don't think I'd be that calm.

[novalis]

Your auntie sounds a superb lady. No matter what happens always remember that.
Having been through what you are experiencing now I can empathise with you, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and her.
No comment about the doctor is necessary!!!"

[Louisa 69]

She sounds a truly amazing lady what a wonderful sense of humour she has for someone in the position she's in. She really is a star i would be proud to have her as my aunt. Best wishes to you all

[B00]

I should imagine at 93 there's not much that'll faze your great aunt anymore!

God bless her, she does indeed sound a rum 'un :-)

[bigmamma1]

Hi Dot , what a delightful little dear your Gt. Aunt sounds .
That doctor leaves a lot to be desired , how cruel. My thoughts are with you and your dear Gt. Aunt .xx

[Aprilis]

Just like your Aunt, Dottty, my Nan always had us in stitches right until the end. On being told by my Aunt to 'Put your knees together Mother, it's not dignified.' My Nan replied, 'You get stuffed, I'm enjoying it, it's years since I had my legs that far apart!' It was so unexpected that I nearly wet myself laughing.

Thinking of you and your family at yet another difficult time in your life. You've certainly had it coming in spades lately Dot.

Love and best wishes to you and yours xxxx

[VillageVicar]

I shall keep you and your aunt in my thoughts. From her age, I'm sure the verse applies here: 'I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith...' I hope you will be able to celebrate her life, rather than mourn her loss. So many of us refuse to accept that death is as natural as birth. And it's unfortunate that so many of us are unable to accept it with the same sense of joy and adventure as we do birth.

http://anglicans.blogspot.com/2005/12/im-only- dying.html

I only offer the above as a reference to the subject matter.

I do wish you peace

Fr Bill

[Aprilis]

Oh yes, forgot to answer your Q!

For now Dot, you just cope by just being there and being the same person your Aunt has always known and loved. Difficult I know but the time for grief comes later.

[EngTeach]

Your Aunt sounds like a real doll. Let her take the lead in setting the tone of visits. My thoughts are with you at this time.

[Lacey-G]

dot.hawkes, she is a star. 93 what a grand age and still a cheeky smile. Bless her.

All my love to your great aunt and also you and yours
xxx

[VillageVicar]

Good morning Dot. May I please ask how is your aunt? You have been in my thoughts.

Fr Bill

[Kleiber]

Oh, Dotty, love, you've been through so much lately - what can I say? Your aunt certainly sounds as though she's got a great sense of humour and will always have. It's weird, but in my experience (with my husband - and he was quite young), when people know they're dying, they seem to take it in their stride & can be incredibly brave about it. Maybe it's a spiritual thing - who knows, unless you've actually been there? I think we all know when our time has come & somewhere we get the strength to accept it. My hubby wanted to be at home, with me and our son with him. We brought him back from the hospital late at night and although he knew he was dying, he hung on so that he could see the morning sun from his window, over our fields, which he loved. His dog was by the bed, with him and his little cat was next to him. Our son and I were with him and he passed away so peacefully. He said to me a couple of days before, that he'd had a good life - I like to think that he had a "good" death, too. We can only do our best for our loved ones and we don't know how we'd cope if it were us - I guess we can only hope that we can be as dignified and brave at the end as they were. I wish you the best and may the love and humour (and acceptance) that your aunt has carry you forward and stay with you forever. Love, K xxx

[dot.hawkes]

thanks so much for all your great replies, my aunt is now in a hospice and as comfortable as possible, apparently this tyoe of cancer affects the kidneys and the renal failure somehow makes the brain cope with the pain and it is not as painful as some cancers, which is a blessing.

I was hoping to get to see her on Sunday next all being well.

[Kleiber]

You know, dot, you've actually made me feel a bit more cheerful tonight. A dear friend of mine died yesterday from cancer (she'd had it for several years) and in the end, she, too, had renal failure. What you said about it making it less painful has made me think that perhaps the end was easier for her than we all thought. Thank you. K xx