Congratulations ?

[Khandro]

I recorded James Ivory's 1985 'A Room with a View' this afternoon, and have just finished watching it. Simon Callow, as a clergyman, congratulates Helena Bonham Carter on her engagement. When I was young I was told that one should not congratulate the newly engaged bride to be, but wish her happiness etc. it was only the man that was to be congratulated. Is that all old and stuffy or does anyone else have such sentiments today, or does anyone care ?

[NazNomad]

The reasoning is that it implies getting married is some sort of special accomplishment that the bride is lucky to have achieved.

In this age of sexual equality, that's likely to get you a slap in the chops.

[Buenchico]

I vaguely remembering hearing that particular rule of etiquette, which is confirmed and explained here:
http://www.digsmagazi...iquette_3-28-02_3.htm

However I know that I've congratulated plenty of women upon their engagement and (although I'm not the most sensitive of people) I'm reasonably confident that I've never caused any offence by doing so.

I suspect that the 'rule' now only applies (if it does at all) to those engagements which are announced in 'Tatler' ;-)

Chris

[sandyRoe]

I don't suppose it would be the done thing to congratulate Kate?