Public outpouring of grief

[Dom Tuk]

What (if any) differences are to be seen in the very public outpouring of grief following the death of Diana and the Pope. I get the feeling that in both cases there is a very large contingent of voyeuristic grievers who like to experience the occasion rather than feel genuinely bereft about the loss and bereavement.

[FP]

In Diana's case I think it was mass hysteria and agree with you.  However, a lot of Catholics world wide will genuinely grieve for the Pope as he played a very significant part in their lives (although I am sure there will be voyeuristic grievers as well).

[Top totty]

My husband and myself took our son (11) to file past the Queen Mothers coffin, not because we felt any grief or sadness but because I wanted my son to see a memorable event, it was a wonderful experience and one I really enjoyed. (sorry that does not sound good)  I would like to file past the Pope, again not because I feel any grief ( we are non belivers) but because it must be a wonderful experience to say you went and it does all look very powerful stuff.

[KittyGlitter]

Could it be that people are crying about something in their own lives, which is otherwise too hard to deal with? People never knew Diana or the Pope personally, yet feel raw emotion over their deaths. It's almost as though people have permission to grieve for this but deep down, they could be really crying about something that touches them personally. Not unlike when people cry in films perhaps?

[smudge]

KittyGlitter - I would totally agree with your posting.

[jno]

I disagree with pretty much everything in this thread. Why should we only feel grief over people we know? That's a very selfish view of the world. If you're incapable of empathising with the problems of strangers, you wouldn't give a toss about tsunami victims, for instance. I felt sorry for the death of Diana, a young woman who'd escaped an unhappy marriage and had much to live for; much less for the pope, who was 84 and had wielded a lot of power. I don't feel the victim of voyeurism or mass hysteria at all; I don't want Posh and Becks to be my family; nor am I trying to forget troubles in my own life, of which I have no more than anyone else. I just think it's our ability to feel for others that makes us human.

[smudge]

jno - when I heard the tragic news that Princess Diana had been killed, I felt numb with shock & cried for days. She was a beautiful young Mother with two beautiful young children, who would be left to grieve for her.

On the day of her funeral, I cried & cried until I couldn't shed another tear - but I know that it was also because I was thinking of my wonderful Mum who had died only 12 months before. 

People are bound to think of their lost loved ones when hearing about the deaths of others, or on seeing a funeral processions - I do. Hope that clarifies why I agreed with KittyGlitter.

[Top totty]

Well I can't say I have ever felt grief over the death of a person I did not know. Sure I was filled with huge sadness at the tsunami and lots of other dreadful things we hear about in this world. Only this morning i heard the story about a small boy killed by a speedboat while on holiday, that made me stop and think about my own children and I shut my eyes and imaginaged the pain his parents are living with every day but I can't say I felt grief, sadness yes and sympathy for the life that his parents have lost but not grief.

 

I was shocked and stunned at Diana's death but did not cry over it. I look at her sons and feel sadness they have grown up without a Mother but I can't feel grief for a person I never met or hardly knew.

 

Just my thoughts.

[Dom Tuk]

Smudge i can understand what you are saying. But why should the trigger be the death of a famous personality. Surely it can be triggered by just passing by a hearse on the road. However i dont think with many people that is the case. Also i am not convinced that with a sizeable proportion in Rome and in London this was the case. they were there for the spectacle of it and it was like a day out. If this turns out to be the case it is indeed very strange.

[FP]

I still consider that there is a huge element of mass hysteria, and very little real grieving.

[elgroucho]

I don't really think these two should be compared (even if they can be). The Pope was the spiritual leader of over 1 billion people worldwide who lead his faith with dignity for over a quarter of a century. He visited 120 odd countries and fought the corner of the poor, starving etc at all times. I think it is perfectly normal that there should be such an outpouring of grief, even from those who never met him. I get the feeling this is pretty much genuine (I accept there will always be a few there just for the experience). With Diana there was definitely a sense that it was more manufactured and a way of protesting against the Royals for the way they treated her. She was clearly a role model for many women, but I'd wager there are plenty out there who will admit to going over the top in their grief for her at the time and who now feel a little embarrassed at how they reacted.

[smudge]

I didn't once say I grieved for Diana - how could I grieve for someone I'd never even met? I said 'I felt numb with shock & cried for days'. Yes part of this was due to her death & her beloved boys being left behind. But it was also because I was still grieving & missing my Mum very much.

No, I certainly don't feel embarrassed at how I felt at the time my Dad, Mum, Diana, Elvis died, or anyone else come to that. Everyone is different & deals with things in different ways.

Yes, some people DO go OTT to show their emotions, but I'm glad to say I'm not one of them! I've cried many a tear when on my own, to avoid anyone knowing how I really feel. That's why I always appear a bubbly, friendly, happy person to colleagues & other's who know me!

[netibiza]

 I, like smudge keep my personal grief to myself - in Diana's case I felt so sad for young Harry - but whenever poss I cry privately.