How creative are we?

[Golem]

In an answer to an earlier question Octavius tried to start a story but unfortunately it didn't get very far. I thought it was a good idea, anyone want to try again? Two ground rules though; 1) Max. 2 lines per submission, 2) You can't add until someone has added to your line. No ... 3 rules ... remember it's for family reading :) I'll start ...

[Golem]

This morning the bus arrived two minutes early rather than 2 minutes late and the man with the briefcase would definitely miss it today. I jumped aboard half asleep, but when it turned left instead of right at the end of the road, I looked around me and realised this journey wasn't taking me to work.

[Golem]

(As you see, I meant 2 sentences per submission!)

[graemer]

Surrounded by a busload of what appeared to be slightly demented women I enquired of my immediate neighbour (who wore a nametag bearing two strange letters) "Where are we going?".

"Exactly" she replied with just the slightest hint of custard making its escape through a small opening on one side of her mouth.

[Dark Angel]

Suddenly a horrible looking dwarf entered the bus. He had an overbite, rotting brown teeth, eyes that popped out of their sockets and his skin was covered with the most hideous looking scabs you ever saw. He wore boots, black leather garters and a pair of black thongs. He advanced towards the demented woman with a hint of custard making its escape through a small opening on the side of her mouth and proceeded to rip her clothes off...

[graemer]

Luckily the driver, a handsome devil who some describe as a cross between Crocodile Dundee and Antonio Banderas allowed nudity on the bus knowing many of his passengers were relics of the hippy days.

The dwarf, who turned out to be a down-on-his-luck former male stripper had one warning for the bus, and that was "Don't discuss dwarf throwing again!"

[tetherend]

Meanwhile, the demented woman produced tiny egg cups from her pocket and told everyone it was time for breakfast.  She said that she had been told to be friendly to everyone she met and not to say silly things.

[graemer]

A happy atmosphere suddenly overcame everyone because, after all, here we all were on a wonderful adventure and we chatted merrily not knowing where we were going or how it would end but hopefully it would be memorable. Somehow we knew it would indeed be memorable because of what was discovered lurking in the back seat.

[tetherend]

The demented woman glanced over to the back seat and called out "Get off the bus John, you didn't buy a ticket to ride".  John mumbled something about a magical mystery tour and continued reading his book.

[graemer]

"golem!" said the devishly handsome Crocodile Dundee/ Antonio Banderas look-alike bus driver as he brutally dragged john from the bus before tenderly wiping custard from the poor demented woman's mouth. "You started this! What have you got to say for yourself?"

[Golem]

The Golem smiled knowingly, reached into the pocket of his waistcoat, produced four triangular tokens and handed one each to the driver, John, custard lady and the dwarf. Each token had embossed on it the same strange characters that appeared on the badge of the custard lady and, suddenly, they all knew that they were bound together by some inevitable fate that awaited them as the bus lurched to a halt at the edge of the forest.

[ck1]

It wasnt the first time that the driver had been on a bus that stopped in an instant after careering off the road and into a tree. He slowly recalled the post it note he kept on the steering wheel warning him of the dangers of engaging in conversation with custard smelling ladies whilst driving, this was but a distant memory now as his new triangular prize filled his vision.

[wotsit]

Inexplicably drawn to the dark interior of the forest they advanced not knowing what or who awaited them in the leafy depths, were they all doomed, were they about to meet a fate worse than death. the only clue to their whereabouts was contained in a secret message hidden in the inscriptions on the four triangular tokens, but which they had yet to discover.

[Golem]

Custard lady stopped and raised her hand that held the token, "Letters two embossed we see, sides of token make up three, four in number is our group, if we are to stay alive, we must look for five." She turned and headed into the darkness of the trees.

[tetherend]

John said, "Let her go on her own, she got me slung off the bus and I aint 'appy about that".  They stopped for a rest and John suggested they had a sing song.

[Golem]

He began singing in the discordant tones of disaffected youth, "... million green bottles standing on the wall, million green ..."

"QUIET" screamed the dwarf, drawing himself up to his full height, clearly distraught by discussion of dissent at this disastrous display of abandonment by the rapidly disappearing custard lady.

[tetherend]

 "That custard lady is the secret love of my life" screamed the vertically challenged person (because the writer was scared of being slaughtered by the political correct squad).  "She's not demented, she's in love with me, we must get her back before the clock reaches 12".

[wotsit]

.....who was in no mood for sitting around singing songs, she had already set off on her own as she was anxious to find the fifth token. Meanwhile the others made a camp fire and carried on with their singing at which point a loud deep voice was heard from deep within the forest saying "one down, three to go" and a shrill, ear splitting, blood curdling scream filled the air.

[tetherend]

"My love needs me", screamed the vertically challenged person".  He was beside himself and disguised himself as a fox so that he could get into the forest unhindered.

[thikasabrik]

Just as he changed into a fox his blood ran cold as he heard the sound of a distant horn and the faint 'Tally Ho." His true love, the custard lady also heard the noises, and knowing what they could mean to the fox/vertically challenged person, she raised her magic triangular token to her face and recited the magic words written thereon.."Dairylea Cheese Spread..."

[tetherend]

and that was the key, there was no fifth token, it was really a magical mystery tour to the Dairylea Cheese Factory in Cleethorpes.  Custard lady had found the solution and ran towards her vertically challenged fox and planted a kiss.