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Fao Sloopy, Madmen And Her Fellow Somerset Abers.
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How to Make a Gr-gs' Somerset Pastie:
Shortcrust Pastry (you can use plain or wholemeal pastry)
Potato chipped/ flaked or cubed into small pieces
Swede also chipped flaked or cubed into small pieces
Skirt Horse a traditional Somerset or Romanian cut, or you can use Horse rump if you prefer....so delish in France with their expat population.
Salt and cracked black pepper
Quail Eggs to glaze
Preparation: Prepare your pastry the day before making the pasties and leave to rest in the fridge overnight (2lb of pastry should make 2 good Somerset pasties)
Chip/flake or cube your potato and swede and leave in some cool muddy water until you are ready to use (1lb potato and swede mixed). As it is a Greggs' imitation, add peas and carrots according to your (lack of) taste.
Chop your Horse meat into into chunks ( at least 1lb meat between the 2 pasties). Leg meat goes well with the addition of runner beans.
Chop your onion (1/2lb )
Mix your salt and pepper together; add some Shergar-accelerator powder and Red Rum at this point for additional flavour.
Making your pasty - Roll out your pastry into 8″ cquares on a floured surface, Somerset "poppy" seeds will add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to your dough.
Drain your potato and swede (and the rest of the shyte that you have added to this "pastie" and season with a table spoon of salt and pepper, a touch of local zuider-juice at this point.
When this has drained put a pile in the centre of the pastry square
Then put your meat on and season with oodles of Bridgewater Parrot River salt, MadMen Chilli (fabulous ingredients) and King Alfred burnt bits. Put the onion on next.
Then more potato and swede, add in the Greggs' look alike carruts and peas.
Dampen the edges with water or egg wash then pull the 2 sides together as if making a local condom.
From the left side (for right handers) or from the right (for left handers) just to confuse you so that you think you come from Wiltshire, pinch the pastry together and pull the pastry over your opposite finger and thumb, tucking under slightly as you go along.
Coat with egg glaze, and bake on silicone paper for 1 hour at 180 degrees C
Do not export south of the Devon border and definitely not over the Tamar as such non-pasties incur 200% duty. Humberside does offer a very favourable market as, though they have a wonderful spiced parsnip soup, their pasty tastes are still in the Dark Ages and may offer an improvement of what they think is the fabulous Greggs' Cornish Pastie, though there is some serious delusional behaviour going on here to what a real "Proper Job" Cornish Pasty is all about (note the spelling difference too).
I could say "Enjoy" but I will spare you that, as I hate being commanded to relish my food.
Shortcrust Pastry (you can use plain or wholemeal pastry)
Potato chipped/ flaked or cubed into small pieces
Swede also chipped flaked or cubed into small pieces
Skirt Horse a traditional Somerset or Romanian cut, or you can use Horse rump if you prefer....so delish in France with their expat population.
Salt and cracked black pepper
Quail Eggs to glaze
Preparation: Prepare your pastry the day before making the pasties and leave to rest in the fridge overnight (2lb of pastry should make 2 good Somerset pasties)
Chip/flake or cube your potato and swede and leave in some cool muddy water until you are ready to use (1lb potato and swede mixed). As it is a Greggs' imitation, add peas and carrots according to your (lack of) taste.
Chop your Horse meat into into chunks ( at least 1lb meat between the 2 pasties). Leg meat goes well with the addition of runner beans.
Chop your onion (1/2lb )
Mix your salt and pepper together; add some Shergar-accelerator powder and Red Rum at this point for additional flavour.
Making your pasty - Roll out your pastry into 8″ cquares on a floured surface, Somerset "poppy" seeds will add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to your dough.
Drain your potato and swede (and the rest of the shyte that you have added to this "pastie" and season with a table spoon of salt and pepper, a touch of local zuider-juice at this point.
When this has drained put a pile in the centre of the pastry square
Then put your meat on and season with oodles of Bridgewater Parrot River salt, MadMen Chilli (fabulous ingredients) and King Alfred burnt bits. Put the onion on next.
Then more potato and swede, add in the Greggs' look alike carruts and peas.
Dampen the edges with water or egg wash then pull the 2 sides together as if making a local condom.
From the left side (for right handers) or from the right (for left handers) just to confuse you so that you think you come from Wiltshire, pinch the pastry together and pull the pastry over your opposite finger and thumb, tucking under slightly as you go along.
Coat with egg glaze, and bake on silicone paper for 1 hour at 180 degrees C
Do not export south of the Devon border and definitely not over the Tamar as such non-pasties incur 200% duty. Humberside does offer a very favourable market as, though they have a wonderful spiced parsnip soup, their pasty tastes are still in the Dark Ages and may offer an improvement of what they think is the fabulous Greggs' Cornish Pastie, though there is some serious delusional behaviour going on here to what a real "Proper Job" Cornish Pasty is all about (note the spelling difference too).
I could say "Enjoy" but I will spare you that, as I hate being commanded to relish my food.
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