Am I Using The Word 'vellum' Properly In This Poem?

bob68k | 05:04 Sun 10th Mar 2013 | Arts & Literature

22 Answers

Does the usage of this word make sense in this opening stanza (vellum)
taking in account the poetic license? Thanks for the advice folks.

'Give me the night;
a canvas of stars
tattooed to the vellum of sky,
I need what is nocturnal born in me'

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Tilly2

Best Answer

You already have a 'canvas' of stars, so your stars have a background, i.e. the canvas. You are then tattooing that canvas to another background 'The vellum of sky' so it doesn't really work. It might be better to use a really good adjective to describe the sky, if you want to keep it as it is.

07:53 Sun 10th Mar 2013

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murraymints

to a certain extent khandro although that then leaves a bit of a shine and any correction will stand out a mile..and for her maj it had to be perfect..the recipients of these honours bestowed by hm had to actually pay a lot of money to get them

Tilly2

Thanks for the best answer, bob. Let us know how it turns out.

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