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I dont think I am a bad dad to Oliver aged 4. I have been unlucky being made redundant twice and I am currently working in the night as a receptionist and studing during the day to be a driver instructor. I make sure there is one day a week that we have to together and this gives Mum a rest. He is a typical 4 year old, naughty but lovable and if I say so myself, he is interested in History and Football and tends to be ( though I have no real way of comparing) more advanced then his pals, he should do well when he starts primary School. I share all the work load with my wife ( who works P/T) and feel I provide really well.
Next week I go on Holiday with the wife, the Mother in law and two sisters (& partners and kids) They are really nice people and really good to Oliver but along with my wife they tend to pick on me. if Ollies falls short of say good manners, or he discovers new swear words. My wife ( who have admitted they worry about what there Mum thinks) tend to side with them and blame me. Oliver is the oldest Grandchild and I wouldnt dare tell my Sister in Laws what to do with thier kids. My Wife complains Oliver and me are more like best friends then Father and son and this has to change. I wasn't close to my Father at all. Should I have a few beers and them them where to go or do I ignore their remarks- A week with them, they will pick on me.
No best answer has yet been selected by Fish the Mod. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Fish(and I am speaking from a Female point of View),
WHY don't you go on hols with just you,Wife and Oliver? You three obviously need/want time together;and your Wife needs to taken away from Mother/Sisters interference!
I think,yes,you need to have your say(beers or not!) and let them hear some home truths.If it means they(Mother/Sisters) don't have so much to do with you, all well and good.You three are the genuine family,not all the hangers on/interferers!
Sorry,if this is a bit blunt,but it makes my blood boil,when a family has a good Father and he is picked on,just what DO women want?
I think (speaking as someone who has massive prob's with the inlaw's) you ought to speak to your wife. I never felt that my partner was there to fight my corner whilst I get torn to shreds by his father and sister. Once I told him how I felt he realised how it must be for me being in an environment where they all have a very tight family bond and being constantly criticised. You really must speak with your wife as it may then be possible that you won't need to have a word with your inlaw's and will prevent any bad atmosphere that will effect your son in the long run.
In short, speak with your wife, tell her how you feel and you want to know and feel that she is 'on your side' and failing that, tell the interfering bleeders (wanted to put a far stronger B word there) to mind their own chuffing business. He's your son, you're a fantastic dad and it's ****** all to with them.
Out of interest does your wife know about you and your father's relationship?
Thanks for all your advice, its a great help. To answer Natalies question, My wife is aware of my relationship with my Dad and I have spoken to her. A silly thing is that, I look after Oliver when my wife goes to work, I dress him, feed him and so on. Next week when we are on hoilday she will say in front of her Mum, Dont forget this and dont forget that...I know what your like...and then the Mum will be her pennys worth in and in the unlikely event, I make a mistake they will just go on and on.