A teenage aspiring poet sends a valentine card to a girl with whom he has fallen in love, and whom he will continue to love, mostly unrequitedly, for decades. In a poem in which he finds some ingenious rhymes for her first name, he tells her of his adoration, and begs her not to ignore him. But the only valentine he receives that year is from his mother. His mother herself receives a very small valentine from her husband, and another, from her lover, which is so large it has to be delivered by a Royal Mail van.
What is the surname of the girl who is the object of the young poet’s unrequited love?