Abortion

[nailit]

Subject cropped up in a conversation today.
As a male, I'm never going to experience the (what I imagine to be) agony of making a decision to abort a child. Its all a bit un pc to say that I think its wrong but I'm trying to get a different perspective. A woman's perspective. I can understand a case for rape victims etc but I find it a difficult pill to swallow when its used as nothing more than a contraceptive.
My ex had 2 abortions (before meeting me) and I could never wrap my head around how she could be a loving mum to her child and yet could have terminated 2 previous pregnancies because she 'wasn't ready'
If you are ready to have unprotected sex, then you are surely ready to accept what follows?

As I said, as a male, I'm in no position to speak about women having abortions but I find it difficult to accept that women randomly terminate a life, particularly as females are seen as the life givers.

Am I on my own in this way of thinking?

[pixie374]

Unfortunately not... there is a difference between unprotected sex and being ready to be a lifelong parent.

[-SharonA-]

There are many other factors to consider. Father deserting the mother, cost, living arrangements, stigma, health of both mother and baby and timing.

[jennyjoan]

Nailit - you need to walk in the mocassins of those women who have aborted.

[Prudie]

I'd think the percentage of women who use it as a form of contraception are minute. Unwanted pregnancies from unprotected sex is a different matter. It takes two for that happen and one of them often disappears.

[Islay]

Prudie I was going to say the same thing!
The percentage of women who have multiple terminations are very small.

[Sqad]

Nailit.......there are many reasons that women become pregnant and probably the least common is that they want a baby.

So, we are left with the majority of pregnant women who for reasons best known to them have become pregnant.....an unwanted pregnancy and this is where it all starts.
Should a woman have to go through an unwanted pregnancy?

[sapelesam]

I've recently been discussing this with Mrs Sam, and we both agreed that men should think twice before discussing it in public.

[nailit]

Actually, thinking about it, (id almost forgot) I dated a girl when I was in my 20's who was a vegetarian and hated the thought of taking 'life'. And yet she herself had an abortion.! What the fu???
She would save the life of a farm animal and didnt give a fig about a life growing inside of herself?
Its this difference that I cant understand.

[Islay]

It always amazes me when the multiple termination claim raises its ugly head.
its not easy to get a termination so how a woman could get several must be nigh on impossible

[Islay]

Some believe its not a life until it takes a breath.

[nailit]

//I've recently been discussing this with Mrs Sam, and we both agreed that men should think twice before discussing it in public//
Ur not wrong there...

[pixie374]

Are you sure she didn't give a fig? She may have thought about it very carefully.
What generally surprises me is the number of people who think it's wrong to force a woman to have sex, but would apparently force one to give birth, which is several steps along.

[Barmaid]

What about when contraception fails? It doesnt follow that all pregnancies result from unprotected sex - some can be as a result of contraception not working. I agree with Prudie.

But you've hit the nail on the head, Nailit. you are male. You would not be the once faced with carrying a child for 9 months. And that's only the start you then have a lifetime of parenting ahead of you. Unless you have a partner who will stand steadfast with you, I can imagine its not an easy decision to go it alone.

[Islay]

One if not the hardest decision a woman may ever have to face!

[Sqad]

Islay

"its not easy to get a termination so how a woman could get several must be nigh on impossible "

That is correct for Northern Ireland but not so in the rest of the UK, that is why pregnant women travel to the Uk for abortions.

[nailit]

As I said BM, I'm a male and NEVER going to have to face this, always tried to keep this in mind with partners who HAVE had abortions. Just trying to understand.

[pixie374]

Having or wanting a baby is never a "reasonable" decision. It is always an emotional one.

[pastafreak]

I had one...it just wasn't the right time. We got married in April. I'd just gone back to work in June, after being out of work for a number of months. It wasn't my chosen field, but my sister had pulled some strings. My husband was in the middle of doing his PhD...there wasn't a lot of money coming in. As it is, I lost the job( it required walking all over Manhattan lugging samples) as I was exhausted. We were NOT ready to be parents...and I took a break from the pill at the "wrong" time.
I think of that child often...it was not a decision taken lightly.
I don't believe there are many women who will use abortion as birth control...there are easier, safer methods now. I had a friend who had one not long after me...she ended up with a terrible infection. Luckily, she was still able to have children.

[nailit]

// I have been lambasted once today on here//
To be expected Jordy, go with the flow. Its AB not friends reunited.