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Funny Church Bulletins
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Evening massage - 6 PM
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason, sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Evening massage - 6 PM
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason, sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Answers
These are brilliant, I like this one. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
20:55 Tue 01st Oct 2019
A few more if i may.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
"Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why."
"A cookbook is being compiled by the ladies of the church. Please submit your favourite recipe, also a short antidote for it."
"A cookbook is being compiled by the ladies of the church. Please submit your favourite recipe, also a short antidote for it."
This is a true one.
My late Uncle Tom was a practical joker in his Devon village. He was a good man and continued our family tradition as a campanologist. He knew the vicar well obviously.
Uncle was a foreman on the Highways Dept in the Parish and his depot was a short walk from his back garden and past the vicar's orchard.
Just before Easter the vicar placed a notice on the back gate of his orchard stating, 'Whoever is taking my apples Please refrain from doing so. They will be donated to the Harvest Festival Service'.
The vicar knew Uncle Tom was the culprit. Uncle Tom added his own postscript underneath. 'All is Safely Gathered in Reverend'
My late Uncle Tom was a practical joker in his Devon village. He was a good man and continued our family tradition as a campanologist. He knew the vicar well obviously.
Uncle was a foreman on the Highways Dept in the Parish and his depot was a short walk from his back garden and past the vicar's orchard.
Just before Easter the vicar placed a notice on the back gate of his orchard stating, 'Whoever is taking my apples Please refrain from doing so. They will be donated to the Harvest Festival Service'.
The vicar knew Uncle Tom was the culprit. Uncle Tom added his own postscript underneath. 'All is Safely Gathered in Reverend'
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