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Should I Post This In My Cats Blog? Wrote A Draft And Don't Know Whether To Publish It.

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Superiorfeline | 07:22 Sat 18th Apr 2020 | Arts & Literature
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Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the best Turkish Van movie of all times, The Flea-Ridden And The Restless.

Chichip is kidnapped by The Beaver before he has a chance to open his eyes, so he believes his mother is the mafia lord who builds illegal dams and lets rats and mice use them as hotels. Chichip is a bit confused by the fact that his ‘mother’ is male, and a beaver, but he never questions being the son of The Beaver, who holds him hostage, a guarantee that his mother won’t talk. She’s a Turkish Van who knows too much and likes sticking her nose into others’ businesses, and her human’s slippers.

Clawstrong is a beautiful female cop of Turkish Van origin, who’s sent by Sergeant O’whiskers to investigate complaints from a family of mice about the horrible conditions in the Beaver’s dams, after an incident in which the mice almost drowned.

Chichip wants to protect The Beaver, but he can’t help but fall in love with breathtaking Clawstrong. Things accelerate when Chichip must chose where his loyalty his, during an incidence in which Calwstrong and The Beaver fight in a children playground.

Chichip climbs the slide, slides down, and slams against The Beaver, throwing him off Clawstrong. The Beaver is thrown backwards and falls on a music box that starts playing, ‘Uncle Moses has a farm.’

“I treated you like a son!” The Beaver howls. “And this is how the ungrateful kitten repays his father! May you be haunted by the ghosts of all the mice you’ve ever killed, forever.”

Pause. Dramatic music filled with long hisses and low growls.

“You’re not my mother!” Chichip yells. “You’re a guy, and I don’t look like you. You’re a rodent!”

Stunned silence, and then…

“You son of a feline,” The Beaver screams. “You don’t know who your father is. Your mother has dated all the cats in the neighborhood, and each and every one of your littermates has a different father.”

Enraged by this insult (although it’s true), Chichip leaps at the creature he’s called mother all his life (eleven months). Chichip and The Beaver roll on the ground, biting, clawing, screaming. Chichip spits in The Beaver’s eyes, and the creature falls on a balloon, which explodes with a loud sound that sends the fearless Chichip and Clawstrong running for their lives.

To top it all off, windows open in the nearest building, and a human screams, “Not those bloody cats again, screaming at three o’clock in the morning.” Next, a slipper is launched, getting Chichip in the head.

Clawstrong, who loves slippers, chases the slipper into the bushes, where she’s confronted by Chichip’s mother. One look in her face tells Chichip all he wants to know. She’s the mirror image of him.

But Chichip’s mother tells him she has forty five kittens all over town by now, and can’t be bothered with him. He’s over a month old, way past the time when mother cats abandon their kittens.

Heartbroken Chichip raises his velvety head to the heaven and howls until the leaves from the nearest mandarin tree falls from their branches. Thinking about the three and a half weeks he could’ve spend with his mother, the weeks The Beaver had stolen from him.
Funny Turkish Van

Half-mad with the urge for revenge, he tears after The Beaver, and Clawstrong runs beside him. Chichip calls for help, and Sergeant O’whiskers and some of his cops join the chase.

The Beaver runs into a movie star’s yard and hauls himself into the huge swimming pool. “I’m the one who taught this sofa-shredder how to hunt his first mouse,” he growls as he swims toward the other side. “And this is what I get in return. But no one gets The Beaver. That worthless Turk won’t come after the river’s lord. Cats hate water.”

But when The Beaver climbs out of the pool, Clawstrong and Chichip leap on him from the bushes, accompanied by sergeant O’whiskers and other Turkish Vans.

“The fool.” Chichip whispers. “That mafia lord forgot one thing. Turkish Vans love to swim.”


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I would say, with the greatest respect, that you have way to much time on your hands.
Would a beaver haul itself into a swimming pool or just slide gracefully over the edge? What is a Turkish van? and other comments...again with the greatest respect have you considered taking a creative writing course? I found the story confusing and I did read it twice....If you want to start writing stories I really do think you should enrol in a course....a reputable course.
I thought it was the script for a cartoon/film not something to actually read. It's too stilted and frantic to read, you need to puff it out and make it flow more easily. Also good point, Turkish Van is a very uncommon breed of cat so you'd need to identify that to the reader.
A Turkish Van is a breed of cat, mainly white but with ginger tail and around the ears, and a distinct liking for water not obvious in other breeds.

If your cats have a blog, then that's probably the bet place for your story - other cats will be fascinated

Ps Ziggi the ragdoll says meow to all your tribe xx
Hte stac tond byave lak dat dooday?
you are locked down - arent you
and anyone analysing this - must be as well
theland how cruel of you to make fun of TTT !
Definitely one for the Blog, live for the moment.
Its the medicine, or the fish.

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