Needanswers7777 // Ignore the insults - (some which really warrant reporting).
It does seem to me to be a bit pretentious, someone, - I presume a young woman (?) is trying to express as graphically as she can her rather troubled outlook, "..I never thought I would ever wish to become a cube of ice…" which is just silly.
I would tell her to consider who she thinks she is writing FOR , if it was an entry in a personal diary with no care for anyone else reading it, it might be different than if she she addressing an audience.
Write it again & reduce in size by at least 50% & simplify it, simplify it, simplify it. Read some great writers who have dealt with anguish - where to start? try Dostoevsky's 'Crime & Punishment'.