worrying and self confidence

[chrisaturner]

hi i have a friend that worries loads about anything even little things which i think he needs to build up his confidence as it seems very low at the moment.
anyone have any idears how he could stop worrying about things and how he can build up his confidence

[4getmenot]

Its obviosuly in his nature and he's just a shy person with not much confidence. He cant just change buy things can help boost his confidence, is there any drama groups he could join or somthing that you could go with him to so he can meet people with you there to help?

[chrisaturner]

no drama groups or anything round here , but i think it is as he mite be moving school as loads of his friends like excluded him hes gone really down and worries about everything just wanted to ask on here if theirs any tips to get his confidence up as his head seems all confused and messed up at the moment
thanks

[China Doll]

Sometimes forcing yourself to do the thing that scares you the most is quite theraputic. Not saying he should jump out of a plane or anything quite so drastic but perhaps talking to someone they've never spoken to before or something like that.... The only thing I'll say about that is that when this works out it really is a confidence boost but sometimes it can backfire.

Perhaps a mantra that he has to recite every morning in front of the mirror? My friend swears by that.

[divegirl]

Hi, you don't say how old he is, but I presume he's pretty young as you mention changing schools. He has the best thing to help him with his confidence, a friend that cares. Just be there for him and let him know he has some one to talk to. We all go through stages in our life when we feel unsure about things.... just be there for him and I'm sure things will improve.

Lisa x

[chrisaturner]

i know it can take time buy would it help if he joined clubs or anything to make him stronger and hopefully not worried as much

[divegirl]

Things like that [clubs] are only going to help if that is the sort of thing he would be interested in in the first place, try getting him to socialise more on a every day level first, introduce him to other friends of yours first...I know this can be hard, but be selective and it may work [if that makes sense], try to introduce him to people with common interests, but be aware, this can be so hard, if he is quiet, people may be wary of talking to him....this is what I mean about being selective.... Only you know if you have others around you that can help you out. And at the end of the day, althought this may sound harsh, there is only so much you can do, if he is really low and depressed maybe it would be helpful if he saw a doctor.

Lisa x

[girlieflirt]

Hi Chris - i too am a natural worrier; espcially about very minor things which people consider not worth worrying about. I can recommend a very good book called How To Stop Worrying And Start Living. The author is Dale Carnegie. It is a good book with positive advice and tips on how to rationalise things and gain confidence. Hope your friend perks up. x

[jump79]

He needs to stop worrying and start living.

By keeping your mind constantly occupied, you haven't got much time to worry so any clubs that he could join (given he is interested) or even hobbies or volunteering/ working part time would be a good distraction that would keep him busy and build up his self confidence aswell.

If all this fails, buy him a couple of jumbo jigsaw puzzles, that'll keep him busy till he forgets to worry in his spare time.