String Theory

[Gerry Baby]

It is my theory that string is most likely made from a mixture of cotton or hemp, probally in sweat shops in the sub continent. I would welcome any discussion on this.

[IndieSinger]

You wouldn't believe how much I just laughed at that! Good one Gerry Baby!

I think in theory, string DOES exist, but you have to take into acount the mass - hemp and cotton differ greatly in mass, so two theories are needed. Does string exist in black holes, where the sub-continent only exists in a metamorphic state, that's the question.

[Gerry Baby]

Hi Indie, I have been having many scientific revelations these days on AB,(you'll find some other interesting discussions on Perpetual motion and alchemy) glad to see you are entering into the spirit of things. Well now you have given me some string for thought.....as you will know several theories on String are in circulation at present, with M theory being the mother of them all. Guessing at what goes on at the bottom of a black hole.......well I spent 2 hours trapped in a portaloo at a gig one time, in the dark, and I can tell you the laws of the known universe certainally broke down for me that night!! I have also been developing my "great international circumnavigating the globe canal" theory. It uses quite complicated maths, of which my keyboard knows nothing of, but in simple English the beginning of the theory describes mainly how to go to a local garden centre and buy a spade. And laterally finnishing off with how to talk 2.6 billion people in to digging for you. Are you familiar with it?!?!

[Gerry Baby]

Hey see how when talking about these type of dynamic things, even stranger things can happen. Just realised that the band I was seeing at the gig that night (portaloo expereince) were called Metamorphic State...........spooooooooky

[sylvday]

I am pleased, Gerry, that you have moved away from the practical side, where your transmutation and perpetual motion projects went so disastrously wrong. But you seem to be working on the rather elementary "First String Theory", concerned with the origins of string. I prefer to devote myself to the more subtle "Second String Theory", which, inter alia, postulates that string is only a poor substitute for universal thread. (That, in fact, the thread has been lost is a troublesome, but not disabling factor in my research.)

[Gerry Baby]

Dear Sylvday As always your contributions in the field have been internationally recognised as pioneering. That is why when you speak I listen. So you have lost the thread on ocassion? this is a common problem when working on the theory of everything. I personally find haveing a small child present during any type of experiments, with which you bibe to hold the thread (preferably on a bobbin at this point). If the child is bothersome I have a good design for a 10 point harness with which I can gladly share on the site. Other difficulties with the child can usually be over come by always ensuring you have a supply of , "Flumps, gobstoppers, fruit-salads, flying saucers, sherbit-dip (with or without liqourise) and red cola" Do not despair, as it is bank holiday monday today my family are well advised to leave me alone as I have my wheel out and the old particle accelorator also, so work still contiunues there. On behalf of the scientific community I would like to thank you for your continued assistance and development of some of the most unbelievable science known to man..........on another note, I have a spare shovel, are you any good at digging too. :-)

[sylvday]

I've very much enjoyed our recent scientific and philosophical dialogue, but am now going on holiday for a couple of weeks, during which I'll give your suggestions for future study some thought. In the meantime you may wish to work on the following exciting research areas. 1. You mention black holes, revealed using the older Fordian, Model T - "any color you like, so long as it's black" - telescopes. Any ideas for developing Chryslerian 'scopes to find some midnight blue, lava red & onyx green holes (hopefully with contrasting interiors)? 2. Mathematicians have devoted much time to Topology, how about doing some basic work on Bottomology? 3. I feel you're just the chap/ess to help formulate a Law of Hilarity to counter the Law of Gravity.

[Gerry Baby]

I am...indeed a chapess, and I thank you from the bottom of my intelectual void for your help , knowing that you must be so busy going on holiday. Your proposals in the field of astro-teleoscopy are most refreshing. Have you read much about the the "teracotta-shift" which is a well known effect in the field of " do-it-yourself-with-colour". Not to be confussed with the "knoffler" effect, where the lead guitairst of Dire Straits plays a few chords for you , and you have to guess what album it is from. I wait with baited breath for your return,and hope that you are able to reconcile yourself with your "log" and "ruler" principles. Yours in hilarity xxxxxx