which is correct

[homealone]

Which is correct please and why..."We look forward to you joing us for dinner" or "We look forward to your joing us for dinner"

[CG1952]

The answer is: "We look forward to you joining us for dinner".
Remember to correct your incorrect spelling of the "joining" - you have typed joing.

[dundurn]

'Joining' in this case is a gerund, that is a verbal noun. The correct form of the sentence uses the possessive pronoun and is therefore 'We look forward to your joining us for dinner'.

Example - some people might find my arriving late for dinner a little inconsiderate, NOT some people might find me arriving late for dinner a little inconsiderate. It's not me they're finding, but my arrival.

[homealone]

Thank you for the help.That truly settled a raging argument!!

I am sorry but I am not sure how to edit my incorrect spelling...but please feel free to do so or inform me how to do it...Homealone.

[homealone]

Oh lord...I have just received this from someone else...now I am in a complete muddle...help please...which is correct?

***We look forward to your........ joining us .....your what? if you use the word 'your' you will need a noun to follow the word 'your' which is possessive.

What would be correct therefore is:

We look forward to your company and to you joining us for lunch.

Although I have had a fair education, I look forward to being corrected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****

[Quizmonster]

Dundurn's answer is perfectly correct and for the reasons he/she provided. Unfortunately, CG1952's is not.

[Quizmonster]

I should perhaps not have been so definite in my answer above, as the fact is that the non-possessive usage is becoming more and more common in everyday speech...and usage is king in the final analysis.
What Dundurn and I claimed was certainly the norm 20/30 years ago. To that extent, therefore, CG1952, I apologise. I'm 70 and obviously don't know how old you two are, but I'm sure the age-factor is relevant..

[bensmum]

Gramatically speaking dundurn and quizmonster are correct - it should be "your joining us" but it seems that anything goes now so either would be accepted.

[factor-fiction]

I agree that joining is a gerund in this case and therefore it should be 'we look forward to your joining us'.
However so few people follow these rules now and it does sound rather odd. You could rephase it and say "We look forward to having you join us for dinner"

[dundurn]

Dear Quizmonster - no need to be so apologetic about being 70 - I'm only 60 this year but the legacy of an "old-fashioned" Scottish education dies hard. I accept entirely that usage re-creates and re-energises every language and that in everyday speech the distinction between you and your in this context has all but disappeared. My argument is purely in the context of what sounded like a relatively formal, written message. I think in conversation I probably "remember" to use the possessive about 90% of the time. When I write it down, however, it's nearer 100%, I just feel uncomfortable doing anything else.

[Quizmonster]

Quite, D. I myself would not in any circumstances say/write, "We look forward to you joining us." However, in these days of linguistic laissez-faire, we just have to accept that..."Things are different now." I suppose it is worthwhile struggling nowadays against only utter barbarisms of usage such as 'could of' in place of 'could've', just because they sound the same.

(PS Did your father actually get the "Snaw on his bunnet"?)

[brionon]

Never use the word 'Joining' people will think you are coming apart !

[dundurn]

Quizmonster - delighted to make your acquaintance! Yes, he did, thank you. Temporarily when seconded to the Scottish Police College at Tulliallan and then substantively as an Inspector in his own force. Still with us, 85 this year and still walks "to attention"!

[homealone]

Funny how things get connected....in asking for a reply to my question it was to settle an argument with my son who is an Assistant Police Commissioner in Perth.Australia....but he started off his police career in Glasgow.....the reference to scottish accents made me laugh as he is always coming out with sayings like that!!

[Quizmonster]

Well done to your dad, D. I salute him and "Lang may his lum reek!"

Yes, Homealone, coincidence and serendipity are wonderful things. Perhaps Aussie usage is just different. Half of our British youngsters speak with HRT - high rising tone, in which statements sound like questions - probably because of Australian soaps. But we can do without "look forward to you coming"!

[EngTeach]

I agree with dundurn. I knew the answer, but even as an English teacher, I had to think about the reasoning. It's been a while. We are not even allowed to teach grammar. It is grounds for being written up.