Alternative English Dictionary

[Word-Smith]

As language is an ever evolving, living thing, I thought it might be time to compile an Alternative English Dictionary. With that in mind, I offer the following alternative definitions which I have either collected or devised and invite you to contribute your own.

Convent
Bird Sanctuary

Distress
To cut off the hair

Eloquench
Being told to shut up

Erudite
Knowing the right word in a sticky situation

Hormones
The sounds of a prostitute enjoying her work

Nun
Bird of pray

[Eve]

Recession: Time for a general election.

I think they shold bring in Alan Sugar :)

[Gormless]

Can you think of a word for sticking your head up a dead bear's bum or why Kirsty Gallagher is wearing that silly skirt. It is deceiving the public with hopes of a shag when she has clearly been shagged several months ago.

[dot.hawkes]

ant and dec are as noisy as noel's house party used to be, it's reminded me why i used to turn that off too