Jokes24 mins ago
A valentine confession......
9 Answers
I know it's not Valentine,but my mum showed me a very old Valentine card which I thought was a hoot.
I just got to tell you what it says on the front of the card,it reads....
A Valentine Confession to my wife
The following's something I've frequently said
To pals that I talk with who haven't yet wed........
Inside reads
If you're seeking a woman whose cooking is great -
The kind who won't nag when you stagger in late..
The kind who looks nifty in dresses or jeans -
Like the girls they describe in the smart magazines
Well take it from me, son you're wasting your life...
Because the girl of your dreams is already My Wife!
My dad had written an extra little poem on the back of it too..
Hope you enjoyed that old poetically written card.
I just got to tell you what it says on the front of the card,it reads....
A Valentine Confession to my wife
The following's something I've frequently said
To pals that I talk with who haven't yet wed........
Inside reads
If you're seeking a woman whose cooking is great -
The kind who won't nag when you stagger in late..
The kind who looks nifty in dresses or jeans -
Like the girls they describe in the smart magazines
Well take it from me, son you're wasting your life...
Because the girl of your dreams is already My Wife!
My dad had written an extra little poem on the back of it too..
Hope you enjoyed that old poetically written card.
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Rather a long poem this is.I'll be honest and say that I cheated a bit as I found it on a website link.
Since My Valentine Got A Computer
Since my Valentine got a computer
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important
Unless it�s a byte or a bit.
Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can�t talk
Unless we both go online.
"But honey," I said, "I�m attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn�t relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.
She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:
"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU."
"Don�t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine�s Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I�ll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.
"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I�ll upload or download anything,
And then I�ll go install it."
Since My Valentine Got A Computer
Since my Valentine got a computer
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important
Unless it�s a byte or a bit.
Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can�t talk
Unless we both go online.
"But honey," I said, "I�m attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn�t relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.
She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:
"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU."
"Don�t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine�s Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I�ll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.
"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I�ll upload or download anything,
And then I�ll go install it."
(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don�t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I�ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)
"Are you all hard drive now," I asked
"Is there no software in you?
Don�t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."
"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You�re nothing but adware.
"I�ve got four gigs of memory;
I�ve got no problem there."
"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That�s not in my cache; we�re going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.
(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I�m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)
"Aw, honey, don�t talk like that," I said.
"Can�t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I�m yours, my love, come what may.
My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.
If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I�m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."
"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription."
"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it�s done.
I�ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you�re the one."
My life has become a real trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I�ll have to reboot her.
And though I don�t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I�ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)
"Are you all hard drive now," I asked
"Is there no software in you?
Don�t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."
"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You�re nothing but adware.
"I�ve got four gigs of memory;
I�ve got no problem there."
"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That�s not in my cache; we�re going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.
(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I�m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)
"Aw, honey, don�t talk like that," I said.
"Can�t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I�m yours, my love, come what may.
My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.
If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I�m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."
"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription."
"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it�s done.
I�ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you�re the one."
My life has become a real trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I�ll have to reboot her.
Hiya Rosetta! Yes my mum was looking through some old things,and she showed me this fun little card with pictures and this funny poem which had two lines each on each page of the card,and on the back of the card my dad (who sadly passed away 2 years ago) had written a little poem of his own...bless him!!
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