What constitutes a debt between two people?

[George-Dub]

Up until last year, I was in a relationship which we both expected to develop into a marriage, children and a mortgage this year.

My ex earned more money than I did. On one occasion my ex lent me some money, and on some further occasions they gave me some money.

On the first occasion we had a definite verbal agreement that I would pay it back in my own time.

Fast forward to now. We have been split up for about 9 months. My ex split with me - in the worst way possible. Despite this I did honor that debt and have finally finished paying it off.

My ex has now got in touch and is demanding more money from me for other sums that I was given during the time we were together.

I never considered these other sums as debts like the first one. These were not sums of money that I asked for - they were sums given to me. I initially refused them because I didn't want to be in debt but my ex described them as 'an investment in our shared future together' ( I clearly remember that definition) This was based upon the understanding that we would be married and that over the long period of our future together these sums of money would not be important or relevant.

My ex split with me, breaking all promises of a future together, but is now considering these sums of money as debts of the same order as the first one (which I have repaid).

Where do I stand? My ex split with me in a rather savage way and has been vindictive ever since - to the point where I even familiarised myself with the law regarding harasssment. This new development seems to be a part of that behaviour. I say this because it explains why I would not want to give a penny more than what is due.

Can someone retrospectively turn what I considered a gift into a debt? How would either be proved?

[lynseylouh]

Providing that you ex did not get you to sign any bits of paper to say that any money you got from her was loans etc, then she does not have a leg to stand on. Added to that you wern't married, so that gives her even less rights,
I would ignore any corrspondence from her, change all tel no;s and batten down the hatches. Maybe visiting a solicitor with regards to him writing out to her about a restraining order shold her behaviour continue. Deny all knowledge of the money situation as it;s then up to her to prove,

[happyjo]

Ignore any threats and let him, if he dare, try to claim this money though the civil courts. If your version of events is accurate he has little chance of success, as any money given to you will be considered gift payments, especially as you had a formal arrangement to clear the agreed debt and this has been satisfied.

I would write a formal letter (either through a solicitor if you can afford a one off visit, or by you) advising him that if he contiues to pester and threaten you, you will report him for harassment.

J