Moving in with Friend or not??

[CHOPS'R'US]

I have been given the opotunity to move in to a brand new flat with a friend, who i have recently met up with again after a year we get on like a house on fire but she is very messy compared to me. However i will be working an extra 10 miles away from a possible new job and the flat is pretty extotiante with all my other bills i'm pretty twisted inside of what to do as she thinks i can do it but unless i get this new job and it pays at least 17,000 p.a i can't live comfortably. If i need to let her down could you give me a nice way of doing so please?

[CiderMonkey]

don't do it. be honest and just that it is too expensive for you. It's much better to say no now rather than move in and have to leave them in the lurch later on when you're really stuck for money and have to move out.

[cardboard]

Moving in with a friend can be a really good laugh, but you'd be amazed at the hidden costs involved running a flat. And theres nothing like money problems to cause strife, especially when one of you has it and the other one doesnt. Just tell her you cant commit to anything until you hear back about the job, then take it from there. She might be dissapointed at first, but she'll understand

[Octavius]

However good a friend she is, finances put a strain on any relationship.  You don't sound sure so far, so I would just explain that you don't want to get yourself into a position where arguments ensue following the payment of bills/rent etc.

You also need some spare money to live a little as well.  She should understand that. 

[georgit79]

Listen, Chops. It's your friend who has put you under all this pressure in the first place. Just explain how much you'd like to live with her, but how it just isn't realistic at the moment. She'll understand if she's really a friend.

[CHOPS'R'US]

Hey guys i spoke to her just and explained i couldn't afford to do it unless this job blew my mind with the salary which is doubtful and she was understanding, i was pretty scared but she was cool, at first she was like don't worry about i can lend you money so i said i couldn't be owing money for the rest of my life and i wasn't willing to put myself in that position and not have a life. She was fine with that and it's such a relief it has made me relax about my interview tomorrow now, thank guys

[smudge]

CHOPS'R'US - I'm glad it has worked out for you. I was going to say that if you are a naturally tidy person like me, I would avoid living with a messy person. It wouldn't be long before you are complaining about his/her mess & he/she about your fussiness - which could then be an end of a friendship. Good luck. 

[secretspirit]

Glad it worked out for you CHOPS'R'US, I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my Mum that my husband and I don't want to move to France to lie with her, my Mum and brother. Apparently giving birth in a strange country and having your husband away from home for 5 days of the week is something she thinks I'll really go for.

[secretspirit]

that was meant to say live with her...

 

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