What do you think of this poem I wrote my boyfriend?

[Feable]

Light breaks
You stir me awake
And I am reminded
Of love
Fingers brush
Toes touch 
And the sun
Warms our waiting skin
Eyes gaze
Lips play
And we begin again

[murraymints]

aaahhhh!!!!!

[ttfn]

A little ott for a game of Scrabble?

[anneasquith]

very nice................

[Ankou]

sounds good. you could call it morning glory.

[Feable]

I haven't copywrited it no :P What were you thinking of using it for?

[China Doll]

I personally don't like it very much, I think it sounds cliched and it sounds vaguely familiar to me but God knows why! I think as long as you don't want it published but wish to give it to someone as a nice, personal poem then it's fine.

[Bbbananas]

Very erotic... but I'd rather have bacon & egg.

[mike11111]

You're all soul, you Doc!

[sir.prize]

feeble

[AB Editor]

Not my kind of poetry. I think you need to think more about what you're wanting to actually say to him?

If you want to read some cracking love poems written recently, try Carol Ann Duffy's Rapture - 'tis honest real love in there:

[jno]

well, I liked it. Obviously doc won't appreciate it unless it's got fish in it.

[Ankou]

well line 5 could be chamged to fish fingers, and line 10, salmon lips.

[bibblebub]

reminds me of The Rutle's Nasty's book "Out of me head"

[murraymints]

some of you have no soul...or heart....thought it was lovely Feable...

[squarebear]

I thought it matched your username.