How can my daughter GAIN weight

[Suzannew]

My 20 year old daughter is 5'6 tall and weighs 7 stone. Friends were worried about her looking thin so she went to her G.P. who in my opinion was rather hasty in diagnosing her with an 'eating disorder'. We have recently had a family bereavement which has caused her a lot of stress, she was probably over exercising at the gym and although has never had a problem in eating, she does like to eat healthily. She is an identical twin and was premature so has always been very slight. She has been told she needs to put on 2lbs a week, but is struggling to gain any weight. What can she eat to try and increase her weight without stuffing cream cakes and unhealthy food? She has cancelled her gym membership which is hard as she enjoyed exercising. With the added pressures of exams (final year at Uni) I am worried for her well-being.

[Richard1966]

I'm more worked that you appear to be in denial about your daughter's eating disorder.

[JonnyBoy12]

She can buy some of our excess weight or we could give it to her for free!

[China Doll]

She doesn't have to eat cream cake but maybe up her intake of things like pasta and potatoes and maybe not fret so much about fatty salad dressings or anything like that. Just eat the normal foods she enjoys but perhaps more so and add a bit of something naughty. Full fat milk and such things.

[Nummy]

Some people are slightly built and do lose weight very easily. However the fact the the GP recommends your daughter putting on 2lbs a week is concerning..he is obviously worried about her weight.

Did the GP not signpost you to sources of help that are available? Maybe see the surgery's dietician who should be able to make the necessary recommendations to help your daughter gain weight healthily.

[ChocolatChip]

If you were unhappy with your doctors diagnosis, I would suggest that you get another. Were you in the room with your daughter when they discussed her weightloss? I would be concerned that your daughter weighs that little, eats healthily and over exercises. These are very typical symptoms of an eating disorder.
I would go back to another doctor find their opinion and take it from there, you will also be able to ask them their opinion on how she can put on weight.
Her BMI is around 14.5 this is severely underweight. Therefore it is very important that she does put on weight. These are some of the consquences of being underweight;
Hormones regulating menstruation and fertility are disrupted, immunity is compromised and infections develop, and nutritional deficiencies may produce hair loss, anemia, and osteoporosis (bone thinning). In addition, emotional changes are inevitable, including social withdrawal, irritability, depression, and sleep disorders.

I really hope that your daughter gets whatever help she may need soon!

[Mamyalynne]

I agree with CD postxxx

[ummmm]

Richard....wrong. Stress can cause you to lose your appetite. That doesn't mean you have an eating disorder.

[Mamyalynne]

Agreed Ummm - 3 years ago I was seven stone and never noticed (same height as OP)- has taken me that time to gain a stone.

[roxie_09]

Although I agree that stress can make you lose your appetite and lose
Weight etc, it sounds a lot more characteristic of an eating disorder. What was her 'normal' weight and how quickly did she lose
The weight? Xx

[ChocolatChip]

Although ummm, the 'over exercising' comment was the thing that concerned me. I can't imagine that at that weight it would be recommended too do much exercise!

[ummmm]

Same happened to me....the first sign of me being stressed is my inability to eat properly.

[Suzannew]

Thank you for your replies. I am glad I am not the only one who thinks she does not necesarily have an eating disorder. She has always weighed under 8 stone, and just under 3 years ago her weight was 7lb 5 so we are not talking about a big weight loss. Since that time she joined a gym (only going twice a week) but has to walk a lot too at Uni. Stress I would say does affect your appetite, especially bereavement (the loss was my Mum dying suddenly) and she does have a lot of nervous energy. I think the combination of exercise, stress and worrying about exams has had an effect on her. I think to give her the label of someone with an 'eating disorder' was too quick (5 minute consultation) without going through more history. She knows she must put on weight and she is really trying but its not going to happen overnight. Like with losing weight when done properly it is a slow thing. Being low birth weight and premature I think also is relevant, she has never carried any fat on her so someone losing a few pounds who is already naturally thin is obviously going to have more of an effect. I think China Doll you are right, just eat normally, lots of things she likes. The GP wants to see her every other week and will hopefully refer her to a Nutritionist too.

[annie0000]

When I was about that age I was 5'10 and around 8 stone - and I can assure you I didn't have an eating disorder - I had a very health appetite though :o) I would concentrate on trying to make the food that she does eat count - even just the little things like adding butter into soups or stews, making sure all things are full fat and upping portion sizes. Try to add in some snacks, even if it is health bars or some nuts and raisins etc. she needs to get a snacking habit!!

[annie0000]

it takes longer to gain weight in those circumstances than lose it - I think 2lbs a week is a bit unrealistic. I now when they do that Supersize v superskinny programme they seem to be pleased with a gain of anywhere between 1/2 stone and a stone in 12 weeks.

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe I am being naive but isn't the only way to gain weight to eat more high energy foods and have a more sedentary lifestyle ? (Barring asking a liposuction surgeon if they have any surplus fat they don't want :-) )

If your daughter is too light to be considered healthy then maybe what would be considered unhealthy food for others needs reassessiing for your daughter. Check the food labels for high fat content (hopefully not saturated) maybe. Encourage her to some evenings in front of the TV on the couch. Works for me.

[rowanwitch]

my sister was about the same as your daughter well into her thirties (weight/height) without exercising... 2lb a week is too much if she managed 2lb a month she'd have a healthy weight within a year... nuts are good things like peanut butter,(salt free versions) and maybe a few lattes rather than americanos If she is resistant to that then she may well have a problem...

[Rodge2]

A friend was told by a dietician to eat full fat yogurt to gain weight healthily.

[Suzannew]

Thank you. Lots of good tips here which I shall pass on. Will update you in a few weeks.

[Richard1966]

OK I will accept that my first post was a bit on the abrupt side of the fence but there are too many clear tell tale warnings in the original post to ignore that fact that this girl has a serious problem. GP's simply do not make a diagnosis like this light-heartedly and I would expect that at the next appointments he will be making a referral to an eating disorder centre.

The references, to the recent bereavement, liking to eat healthily and over exercising along with claiming that she has a slight build due to being a premature twin just show that as a mother you are in as much denial as your daughter.

[Suzannew]

Richard1966 - What is your experience of Eating Disorders - I am interested to know?