Crying

[catholic]

This isn't a health & fitness question but I can't put it under any other category. Somewhere I read that there's a trick to prevent yourself from crying in public. Anyone heard of it? I hate it when I cry at funerals & get embarrassed. Thanks

[boxtops]

I wouldn't know what it is, catholic - crying's a natural phenomenon, you should just do it. It's not unnatural - loads of people cry at funerals. I can weep on all sorts of occasions, you need to let it out. t'll do you no good to bottle it up.

[ummmm]

I agree with Boxy. I gave up trying to stop myself crying years ago.

[sherrardk]

I'm with Boxtops on this one. Two years ago, when my family were dropping like flies, I was regularly seen crying in town and supermarkets!

[ummmm]

Same Sher...but mine was in pubs.

[Kiki-frog]

I expect a lot of us would like to know the answer to this one, not just for the funeral context. I get stupidly weepy over all sorts of things. And I always blub when I go to the theatre and the cast take their bow at the end. I think it comes down to feeling embarrassed about showing emotion, but at a funeral, surely there's nothing wrong with that - and will anyone else be really looking at you anyway?

The best solution I have (and one that only works occasionally, depending on the intensity of emotion) is to look away and think about something completely different, such as the plot of a soap opera.

[boxtops]

I cried on trains, all sorts - people don't know what to do, but I didn't want them to do anything, just to get on with it.

[arwyn]

I have twice cried on here when people have been nasty to me.

[boxtops]

Arwyn, that's awful, that shouldn't happen!

[arwyn]

box if they were face to face I'd smack them ha ha

[sherrardk]

Don't let them get to you arwyn (although I can still get annoyed about a comment someone wrote on one of my posts!).

[arwyn]

sherrark I try not to.

catholic I gaze about the church and pretend I'm not there, It works till I have to pass the family at the door as I leave, Then I'm no good even if I never know the person and I only went because it was a mates Dad or something.

[anneasquith]

crying is normal and can be therapeutic,,,,,,,,,,,, arwyn, really dont let abers upset you.

[cazzz1975]

crying is very good at releasing pent up energy and stress, im sure you must feel physically better after a good cry even if the subject matter that made you cry is still apparent.

[China Doll]

I also very much dislike crying in public. When it's something I feel like I'm going to do and want to stop myself, I generally just try to find something to read, it could be fire escape instructions and I'd just read it over and over again. Reading has always helped me remain calm and distanced, I also read a lot of signs when in the dentist chair!

Unfortunately sometimes it can't be helped like yesterday when saying goodbye to sis so I just try and get it under control again very quickly which is easier than trying to stop it in that circumstance.

I do agree that crying can be good and therapeutic but I personally prefer not to cry in public wherever possible.

[tiggerblue10]

I stopped myself from crying last Wednesday when I was walking past a stationary bus and a lady with a little boy and a baby in a buggy fell out of the doors. The woman fell on top of the buggy and when she got up and picked the buggy up the little bay girl had a massive black bruise on her head.

I have no idea why this upset me so much but it took all of my energy to hold the tears back. Maybe it was because the baby was in pain, I don't know.

[catholic]

Arwyn, I'm sorry. No one should post nasty comments. That's not what this site is all about. Easier said than done, but just ignore them. Thanks everyone for your replies. I agree, nothing wrong with showing emotion but I was brought up to believe in a stiff upper lip & remember being told off by my Mother for crying at my Father's funeral.

[Kiki-frog]

You were told off for crying at your dad's funeral? That's unbelievable! You poor thing, no wonder it's become an issue for you. x

[arwyn]

catholic was that along time ago? I remember being told by my 1st Husband that his mother died when he was a small boy. He never knew why, when or how and never dared ask, she was never mentioned again. He had got a Stepmother and It was thought to be rude to ask about his mother.

[andy-hughes]

I think crying is vastly underrated, and something western society - especially men (Big boys don't cry ...) is ashamed of, to its detriment.

I was a Samaritan for three years, and i have lost count of the number of men and women I have either heard crying down the phone, or crying in front of me, and without exception, they always apologised, because I am supposed to be embarassed. My response was always the same - "Don't be sorry, there's no need, it doesn;t embarass me, and it's good for you, let it all out ..." and with that 'permission' people would do just that.

So don't worry about showing your emotions, it is a good emotional release, and it shows you care, and may break the ice for otherreulctant criers around you. We are far too buttoned up about our emotions, time it changed.

[coccinelle]

I hate crying especially in public. It's not the crying in itself but it makes my face look a mess. If I cry too much my eyes bloat and can stay like that for hours. Because of this I have learnt to stop myself or prepare myself beforehand. I detach myself from what's happening around me; it's as if I'm looking down on a film set and I imagine it's not true what's happening. I have been caught out when I wasn't expecting something said to me but overall this works for me.