Positive Thinking Help Required Please

[beckersjay]

Ever since New Year, every time I open the paper or watch the TV, someone seems to be talking about the awful survival statistics for lung cancer. It seems I have already passed the average sell-by date but up until now have been able to keep fairly positive and motivated most of the time. I'm now really down in the dumps despite the fact that my chemo seems to be holding things stable at the moment. Every time I get any sort of symptom or even just feel a bit tired I start imagining the worst and feel really depressed. Maybe it's worse because it's New Year, a time when most people look forward.
I hate feeling like this. Would welcome any words of help.

[joggerjayne]

What a positive thread.

Good you, guys x x x

Oh, and Becks, your chemo is not just holding you stable "at the moment".

It is "holding you stable" ... !!!

Lots of love ... J x

[NOX]

My father in law was diagnosed with a particularly nasty form of bowel cancer in the early 90's and given a few months to live. Never an easy man at the best of times he went into a bit of a depressive tailspin to the point where he quite purposefully tracked down anyone who had annoyed or upset him in any way over the years and gave them hell, fully expecting to die quite soon and for it therefore not to really matter. Big mistake. His treatment was extremely successful, he outlived his five year point and in fact didn't die until 2009 when very elderly indeed ( and then not from the cancer). It was rather a joke in my wife's family that he'd gone on this mission of telling people how irritating he found them and then embarrassingly lived for another 15 years. the point being in relaiton to you, no he was most definately not always upbeat about things, very much the contrary but he prevailed and had a very long, very good life. Keep your chin up and don't beat yourself up about the way you feel, it's perfectly normal and natural, and remember for every person that conforms to the average there are a huge number that don't.

[beckersjay]

Joggerjayne - thanks to you and all the other contributors. You are right - this has turned into a really positive thread.
I feel quite a bit better today and I'm sure it's due in no small part to you lovely people.
I have a scan next week - collective fingers crossed please and I'll let you all know how I get on...

[ttfn]

Hello beckersjay :)

I always derive great comfort from this piece of writing. Somehow, it puts my life back into perspective. I plan for today - when tomorrow comes it is always a bonus. xx

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

[tamborine]

Give yourself a new challenge each day; greet a stranger, walk in park, try a new dish, bake a cake, invite in a friend, visit a friend and set up a quiz to keep our grey matter active ;)

[murraymints]

chin up..I am having a bad time with dad..lots of complications with his chemo, but I am thinking ahead as you must too..xx

[Iluvspikey]

Hope all goes well with your scan this week XX

[LDC134]

I hope all goes well for your scan this week, and it's been lovely to read such positivity on the posts which I hope really helps you. I just wanted to add that I find time spent by the sea (if you are lucky enough to live near to it) also helps to calm negative thoughts - looking at such a vast area seems to put things into perspective. If you don't live near the sea, maybe you can treat yourself to a weekend away ? All the very best

[Kiki-frog]

So many lovely thoughts and suggestions on this thread! Reading through them, it looks like the AB folk care a lot about you. That's a thought that's got to be worth holding on to. x

[beckersjay]

Yes Kiki-frog, the fact that people care and take the time to post positive thoughts and good wishes means an awful lot.
It's good news to report.
The scan, against all odds (since I'm on maintenance only therapy at the moment) showed significant and measurable shrinkage of the tumour and no evidence of spread. Mr B and I are as relieved as you can imagine and more.
We're working hard at maintaining the positive thinking and a belief that we actually can batter this thing into submission for a long time.
Thank you all - thank you, thank you.

[LDC134]

Great news, really great :)