School Punishing My Son For Not Doing P.e

[MadMen]

Right. This is quite a long one, I'm afraid.
My son was complaining of a bad headache last week, and was off school on the Monday because of this. On previous occasions this had been due to him not wearing glasses, or needing the strength of the lens changed, so I made him an appointment for the opticians, which is this week.
I sent him back to school on the Tuesday, but wrote him a note further on in the week asking for him to be excused from the P.E lesson as he was feeling unwell and I was awaiting a doctors and opticians appointment.
He came home from school on Friday (the day of P.E) saying he had handed the note in, but he was told he was still going to be punished, and would miss his lunchtime break on Monday.
I called the school yesterday morning at 9am, and asked about the note. i explained the situation and she said she would look into it and have a word with the teacher, who would "probably overturn the decision as she may not have been aware of the note". She said she's get her to call me back.
Still no phone call at 11.45 so I called back and said I appreciated she was probably busy, but I just wanted to know what the situation was, as lunch break was fast approaching. She said she still hadn't spoken to her, but as she finished teaching in 15 minutes, so would make sure she phoned. Fair enough.
Another 45 minutes passed, with the pupils now being halfway through lunchtime, and still no call.
I called once again (third time) and was told by the person covering the phone, she would pass on the message and get her to call. Aghhhhh!
So, I finally received a call from my son's teacher, and she explained that she had never received the note and was only aware of it now. Turns out they had a supply teacher that day, and another teacher for P.E and this is who my son handed the note to. He was then told to sit on the sidelines whilst the rest of the class did P.E.

So anyway, I explained all this to her, and said my son shouldn't be punished for a decision that I had made. He had not "forgotten his P.E kit", but I had requested him being excused due to medical reasons. She said again that she had not seen this note, but as I pointed out to her, surely that is the fault of the supply teacher that day, and the P.E teacher? She said no, it was my son's fault.
She then went on to say that "even if I had seen the note, he would have been made to do the class anyway". I asked her why if a child is, potentially, unwell they should be made to do it. She said, and I quote, "that child would be made to participate in the P.E lesson until they felt too ill to continue".
Sorry, it may just be me, but I find that remark astonishing! When is a child "too ill"? When he/she collapses??
Sure, it may just be a headache, but who knows. I would rather wait until a professional has seen him, than let his teacher decide if he suddenly becomes "too ill" to continue.

Do I have grounds to make an official complaint? He's already been punished, so it's not as if she can give him back his missed lunch break. I just want to voice my annoyance and frustration, and also my concern over the comments regarding a child being made to do P.E until they were "too ill to continue". I also have issues with the "punishments" she dishes out, which seem to depend on whether or not she got out of the wrong side of bed that morning!

I'm looking for answers from parents, specifically.

Thanks.

[Sqad]

I hope your "official complaint" is shorter than your post.

[MadMen]

Lol. It's 4 pages long!

[woofgang]

Not a parent but.... I would be really cross at this response and would want to take further action. If you decide to, as this was a phone conversation, you need to document EVERYTHING and get as much proof as poss as its easy to say "oh I never said that" or "oh I was misunderstood".

[woofgang]

just seen your response. More advice, keep the complaint short and factual, you are more likely to get a sympathetic response from whoever deals with complaints. I know it shouldn't make a difference but it does!

[friedgreentomato]

In the nicest way - do you not think you are over reacting just a wee bit?

It looks like a communication error on all sides - I would leave it at that - kids are always trying to skive of PE!!

If you make too much fuss all it will do is highlight your son as a bit of a mammy's boy. It was only a headache after all - he could have done gym!

[ladyalex]

If it were me I would certainly make a formal complaint.
I do not know how to do this in your area, but am sure that someone on here will be able to help.
I would be livid if anyone made my child do anything until they decided that he was too ill to continue if I had asked that he be excused.

[Answerprancer]

If it was my child, I'd take the law into my own hands ..f*ck dictatorial teachers.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with woofgang, keep your complaint short and factual, dont become emotional.

[granny grump]

Hi MadMen - I agree with woofgang - kep it short keep it factual and don't get personal - (from a mother and complaint handler)

[granny grump]

oops keep

[MadMen]

Thanks Woofgang. I think I am looking for a bit of reassurance really, that I'm not overreacting. I told her I would be making a complaint and she said "well it will just get passed back to the school anyway, so that's fine". What a terrible attitude to have. Oh, and she is the deputy head!!
I have made a note of our conversations, hence the 4 page letter :)
I was totally calm and relaxed during my conversation with her, but I am absolutely fuming about the whole thing. My poor son was approached in the school playground by this teacher, in front of his friends, and told he would be "punished on Monday for forgetting his kit". He's such a shy and reserved boy, and was quite upset when he got home and told me about it. I just felt really sorry for him.

[New Judge]

Things have obviously changed since I was at school!

I cannot imagine my parents making a big deal over something like this and would certainly not consider making an "official complaint". Life (especially when you are young) is full of minor injustices such as this (and don't get me wrong - I'm not suggesting that no injustice has taken place). But in the overall scheme of things no great harm has been done. If it were me I would just put the matter behind me and move on. I imagine your son has already done so (if you have allowed it) and little, if anything, is to be gained by dragging the matter out. Life's too short to mess about with this sort of thing.

[MadMen]

Thanks for the advice about keeping it short. Yes, you're right, I never really thought of it in that way and I am definitely letting my emotions run away with me when typing my letter of complaint.
I have asked for a meeting with the head, and I'm now waiting for a call back from the school.

I totally take on board the comment about overreacting (welcome back by the way! lol) and I do think my 4 page letter is probably me being a bit dramatic, but I still want to get across the point that my son was "punished" (her words) for their lack of communication.
She had plenty of opportunities to let him have his break, after I had spoken to her and she's seen the note, yet still dug her heels in and said it was the correct decision.

[MadMen]

I think my main concern is her comment that she'd make a child do P.E until they were too ill to continue, note or no note.
At what point does a child become "too ill"? Again, I know I'm letting my emotions run away with me here, but I read the papers, I know that kids can just collapse and then it's too late. Ok, that's me being dramatic again, but I am just one of life's worriers, and when it comes to the kids (specifically my son who's had other health problems) then I do tend to worry a bit more and would rather it be ME that makes the decision for him to sit out of a P.E class.

[EvianBaby]

A meeting?

I think that's taking it a bit far. I mean what do you want the outcome to be? He obviously can't have that time back and a meeting would just be wasting everyones time. I'd just stick with sending a brief letter and be done with it.

[friedgreentomato]

Hi good to be back ;-)

I think you are taking the comment out of context - if a child has a headache it does not stop them taking part in PE - I would suggest thinking back to when I was at school how many times I tried to get out of PE because I was ill - by being made to do it, it soon become obvious that the child is not really ill at all - but just swinging the lead.

I really think you need to step back

[Mamyalynne]

In your position there are two things I would want clarifying - the "Too ill" comment and how to avoid this lack of communication when a child takes a note in.

A short simple letter asking for those issues to be addressed will suffice I feel, at this point.

[MadMen]

Hmmm. A mixed bag of advice and opinions. Damn you all, I wanted you ALL to agree with me! ;)

Ok, so maybe I am being over the top, but I just feel so frustrated.
The punishment was not only to miss his lunch break, but he had to write out why he should not forget his P.E kit... this was AFTER I had spoken with her on the phone, and had the conversation that it was due to him being unwell/saying he didn't feel very well. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall.

I also appreciate the comments on the meeting being a waste of time, and to be honest, I have just sat here thinking what my answer will be when the head teacher asks me what I am expecting.
I'm not really expecting anything. As you say, he can't have that time back. I just want to discuss the comments about her making a child do P.E until they're too ill to continue. That really does concern me.
I would have been happy with a telephone conversation with the head, but apparently I have to make an appointment for a meeting with her, so that's what I've had to do.

[MadMen]

Ok. I think that is probably the best way to deal with the situation.
I have her email address, so maybe I should just send her a watered-down version of my complaint letter, and say I don't want to waste both her's and my time with a meeting, but would like my concerns addressed.