And Breathe......

[Barmaid]

I have just had the most hideous 3 hours of my life.

Searching for and having to apply for injunctive relief for a missing body
Threatening the ex with court proceedings when she won't let us have contact
No landline or broadband due to power outtage (and having to deal with Indian call centre - omg - at one point I handed the phone to Mr BM in sheer frustration saying "you ******* deal with it")
All burglar alarms in the area sounding constantly
Hedgehog turns up during difficult conversation with relative of deceased (see above) and there is naff all I can do about it cos I am trying to be sensitive - hedgie has now disappeared

The bottle of wine with my name on it is simply not big enough.

Soothe my aching soul, please

[grasscarp]

Are you fed up?

[jno]

it's always infuriating when hedgehogs turn up, especially if they're collecting for Hedgehog Relief Day. Try to imagine them as flavouring in crisps.

[Barmaid]

*Chortlesplutters* Grasscarp - I don't "do" fed up. I do "perfectly happy" or "***** cross".

JNO, lol.

[craft1948]

I'm here.............with a large bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Go and have a long soak in the bath and sing I Will Survive at the top of your voice, swiftly followed by Fernando.

[baza]

switch off, feet up and large glass of plonk.

[grasscarp]

Things can only get better. Buy a euromillions ticket for tonight and another bottle of wine.

[Barmaid]

I couldn't even buy a ticket Grasscarp. The power outtage sent the lottery terminal down, so when i went to get step son's medicine and went to get the ticket, I couldn't even do that!

[humbersloop]

tap your toes to this BM - remember, it did wonders for Brian Cox's career

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAi8QL1ePrw

[grasscarp]

I just bought some lucky dips online Barmaid.

[Barmaid]

lol, when the lottery terminal was down Mr BM said to me "we can do it online". To which I responded "WE COULD IF WE HAD INTERNET ACCESS YOU DOLT". It is now working. I might take a mosy round the shop and buy one now.

[Vegasqueen]

Barmaid i have to tell you that alcohol isn't a cure for all of life's problems.

Just 99% of them!

"I'm here.............with a large bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Go and have a long soak in the bath and sing I Will Survive at the top of your voice, swiftly followed by Fernando."

Oh craft you darling, have you actually came into my brain to take out a snippet of my life?

1980, i was in a san francisco home's outdoor pool with Glorias "I will survive" belting out on the speakers with a large gin based cocktail talking with a rather scrumptious poolboy called.....Julio, not quite fernando but close enough. Oh how the good times fly....

[DTCwordfan]

I'm ready for a drinky poo too, has taken most of the afternoon to enter and verify/segment cake making and decoration businesses and I am only a quarter of the way through Kent.... you don't make cakes semi professionally, Barmaid?!

Wonder if I'll pick up Voddie's business when I get to Glasgow/Edinburgh.

Have a good evening and I am sure Hedgie is ok - probably looking for that red wine you left for him.....

[Psybbo]

I've done a line in the Euromillions for ASBO and me. We'll let you know how much we win

[gness]

Well...I got kissed in the Co-op today and if you had seen the man who kissed me your day would pale into signning...I am truing to type... insif..insignificance....and I have run out of cement and for the first time in my life I am on a diet because my leg has made me put on half a stone but I am not sure if I am understandling the diet....you have to fast but it didn't mekntion wine....and....oh I am exhausted....:-) x

[tonyav]

Hang on hang on, whats this then gness, snogging in the co-op ?.

[gness]

I was in San Francisco in 1980....MrG and I had a bit of a tiff while I was driving so I did a handbrake turn.....by accident but it was fun and the policeman was really lovely. x

[gness]

Yes, Tony...they seemed to be having some sort of Hawaiian day....with karaoke....I only wanted tea bags...:-( x

[tonyav]

That type of driving is quite normal in San Francisco, gness lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSAN7ZX02eA

[tonyav]

Well gness did you have a singalong ?

[TWR]

Barmaid, Hizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, calm down, go to the local shop bye a couple of bottles on me, then get Izzzzzzzzzzzzed xx