For Those Of You Who Couldn't Attend . . .

[Buenchico]

. . . last night's AB Awards Ceremony, here are the few details that I can remember:

Moderator of the Year was, as always, awarded to one of the moderators who prefers to remain anonymous, fuelling the usual rumours that nobody actually wins and that the Ed simply retains the case of Champagne.

Travel Advisor of the Year was shared between Dzug2 and Mushroom25. Unfortunately they weren't present at the ceremony as, having correctly guided hundreds of AB members all across the world, they both got lost on their way to collect the award.

Medic of the Year was awarded to Sqad, as was the title of Grumpy Old Man of the Year (despite strong challenges from both AOG and VHG).

Legal Advisor of the Year was Barmaid, who gave an eloquent but lengthy acceptance speech before stating that she had instructed her clerk to invoice AB for the time it had taken her to make it.

Xenophobe of the Year was awarded to AOG. (There were no other nominations as it was clear that nobody else could match him).

Twitcher of the Year was awarded to Carrust. (Buenchico withdrew an objection after he was informed that 'twitching' had nothing to do with suffering alcohol withdrawal symptoms).

An attempt was made to present Methyl with a brand new laptop for his work as Techie of the Year but, true to form, he refused to have anything to with it until he'd been given full details about its hardware, its operating system, its software and the maiden name of the mother of the guy who had sold it to AB.

Covert Advertiser of the Year was awarded to Dot as it had taken many months for the Ed to realise that she was getting paid a tenner by W H Smith for every time she mentioned their Kobo eReaders.

Wine Drinker of the Year was awarded to NoMercy, despite a strong challenge from Sunny-Dave. (Barmaid withdrew an objection after it was explained to her that the award related to quality and not to quantity).

Stirrer of the Year was expected to go, as usual, to AOG but a surprise decision saw the judges give the award to Seekerz for his sustained efforts in winding up English cricket fans during the recent Ashes series.

The award for Most Quoted Newspaper of the Year was given to the Daily Mail, as was the ward for the Most Ridiculed Newspaper of the Year.

JoggerJayne made a (tired and) emotional speech, in which she thanked her parents, her school teachers, all AB members, the judges, Brighton & Hove FC and many others. This was considered rather odd as she'd not actually won anything!

Regrettably, that's just about all I can remember from last night as I was somewhat inebriated after finding a case of Champagne hidden under the Ed's table. Perhaps others might be able to fill in some more details?

[Sqad]

LOL....very good.

[Buenchico]

That's not right, Sqad! You're not meant to proved that you've got a sense of humour!!! . . . but thanks, anyway!

[Buenchico]

^^^proved??? prove!!!

[wolf63]

I am sorry I couldn't come - I was in the Sin Bin :-(

[pixie373]

Lol. What did i win??

[stewey]

Hey! How come I got no mention for the numerous field trips that I describe? Not fair, innit?

[craft1948]

I thought Newcomer of the Year was interesting, for some reason they couldn't attend...............

[Sqad]

wolfy...LOL. I bet you say a few well known usenames etched on the dungeon walls....;-)

[factor-fiction]

Excellent, Buenchico. I wish I could think of witty things like this.

[corylus]

So, Mrs Overall missed out then as well as being refused the Freedom of Whitby recently.

[pixie373]

Aah, wolf. You were in good company. Great to see you all back xx

[wolf63]

sqad - at least I had plenty of nice people to talk to, 18 at last count.

[Buenchico]

Thanks for the responses above.

I tried to think of something suitable for Stewey but the thought of Canadian lager made me feel a bit queasy!

[wolf63]

pixie - you should have come to our dungeon party. All you had to do was say the "E" word and you were zapped.

[stewey]

Sometimes I feel the same way, Chris:)

[EcclesCake]

I stood outside in the rain hoping to get a couple of autographs!

[Buenchico]

EC:
We might have all been drunk but we weren't THAT drunk! We all spotted the words '"I promise to pay the bearer" pre-printed onto every page in your autograph book ;-)

[Mamyalynne]

Well, having been initially thrilled to be invited and secretly hoping I was a nominee, I discovered quite by chance I was in line for the 'Most interminable, repetitive - Oh no not more nightly garbage Award'. Feeling slightly wounded I destroyed the proof, snaffled a nice bottle of red and got a fish supper on the way home.

[EcclesCake]

As well as my autograph book I had my camera and will happily share the photos proving that you all were that drunk.......unless you promise to pay the bearer.......

[factor-fiction]

I wasn't allowed to attend because in every previous year I had objected that awards were allocated under the wrong headings